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I made a discovery over the weekend
I'm in two weddings next summer and was unsure how I'd feel about it -- would I be jealous? Bummed that I spent all my time and energy on a wedding for a marriage that crashed and burned? Would I feel like I wanted to have another wedding? A chance to do it over?
Well, I don't.
I went wedding dress shopping with a friend, and we talked a lot about all the different things she was considering, decisions she had to make, prices for things, etc., and all I could think was, omg, I'm so glad I'm not the one doing this.
It brought back the memory of all the stress and expense and time-suck that wedding planning was. I'm DEFINITELY not doing that again if there is ever a next time! But I'm the kind of girl who has to touch the stove to see if it really is hot, so I never could have had this attitude the first time around. But the (possible) second time around?
Yeah, elopement just looks better and better.
It also made me realize how much I worried over stupid sh!t that nobody cares about at all -- like what you do for your table numbers. Seriously? Maybe I'm jaded, but I will never waste time, money, or effort on something like that again, haha. I feel so freeeeeee!
Re: I made a discovery over the weekend
Interesting. I was at a wedding this weekend, and I couldn't help but be bitter. I don't even really know why. It didn't feel like it was coming from a place of jealousy, just more of like.. yea.. I was that happy a year ago too.
Salty biitch, table of one! Hopefully I get over that quickly because I don't want to be that nasty woman that only talks terribly about marriage just because mine failed so quickly.
Good for you for being in those weddings. I was at a wedding over the weekend and wanted to die--post below. I agree that once you get divorced things are in a much different perspective. It's a strange feeling.
Okay, if i'm being honest, the only thing I was jealous of was the fact that she got to pick out an awesome pretty dress! That part was fun, haha. That part I could do again.
But all the other stuff? They can have it.
I do see relationships differently now, too, but I was talking specifically about weddings, I guess. I don't think I'm too bitter about relationships themselves (which is kind of amazing, because I guessed I might be that type).
And I am able to talk more openly about relationships now, too, which I think helps. Before, I was more like, "Don't ask, don't tell, everything will be fine." Yeah, that didn't really work out, ha.
I'll be a BM in a few weeks. The brides second wedding, I was in her first. She swore to me that she'd never ever spend the kind of money she did on her first wedding. Well, she is!! My out-of-pocket for BM crap is well over $1500.00. The dress itself is $300.00 without alterations.
And I rsvp'd with a plus one (my H) since we were ok when I got the invite. Now he's not welcomed which I am happy about because I don't want to take him anyways but I'll be alone, I know nobody other than the bride, her groom and the parents of the bride.
I agree, I will NEVER spend the amount of money that I did on the first go-round!
And I think it probably helps that I won't have the money to spend on an extravagant wedding, haha.
Weddings are funny things. I think often they're more trouble than they're worth. Especially the big ones.
I hear ya, Only! I feel the same way. Looking back, I realize that I concentrated on all the wrong things. Seriously, does anyone care what color napkins I have or what my flowers look like? In a way I am glad that I did the big wedding because it was fun to have a fairy tale for a night. But the fairy tale ends quickly and then what are you left with?
This time around, it will be about the real stuff. Like the strength of our relationship, lol...
Glad you feel good about it
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
This!
Considering that it's my job to photograph weddings, I have mixed feelings... I'm not bitter about the idea of the wedding itself... I LOVE all the details and stuff, but that's mostly because it's more interesting to photograph. If people have the expendable income to make it happen, go for it! But I truly cannot understand going into debt over it... that I think is silly.
It's interesting to watch all of my different couples because I see SO many different things... the main thing I notice is when a couple truly delights in one another... the feelings they have for one another is contagious. I love being a part of it so the wedding is just the icing on the cake. Then there are couples that remind me of the dynamics I had with my exH. It kind of makes me said, but it's not my place to judge and no one ever really knows what's going on, so they may be perfectly happy. To each is own!
I'm ambivalent about getting remarried... the main reason I would want to do it again is so I can write my own vows and say what's in my heart and feel with my gut that I'm fully aware of what I'm doing and it's right for me. That is something I would want share with a small group of people, plus I really want a kick ass dress and some amazing photographs...