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Feeling like an utter faliure today...my pity party...
I have no idea why but last night I got into this really sad mood feeling sorry for myself. I mean what kind of person splits up with their child's father when the child is only 1.5 years old? In case you haven't been following me it was my ex's decesion and it appears he left me for his plastic coworker. They immediately started dating (if they weren't already) the week I moved out.
I am just feeling so alone. I started dating someone new but I just feel so sad that my son will probably be raised by someone who isn't his "real" dad. I know he will still spend time with his real father but he will spend 70% of the time with me and whoever I am with. This isn't the way it's suppposed to be....
Then to top it all off I was running late today and my son's costume is just an airplane that he slips on over his clothes and I forgot it. I feel like such a failure as a mom he will probably be the only kid in daycare not dressed up. Now if his dad had of been there to help me this probably never would have happened.
Re: Feeling like an utter faliure today...my pity party...
I know you're having a crappy day but SERIOUSLY, this is the reason why you shouldn't be dating anyone yet. Get yourself together! Blaming your XH for you forgetting your son's costume is insane. So you forgot, so what? Your child is likely too young to realize it anyway. It sucks that he's not cute and dressed up but it's not the end of the world. I can understand feeling like a failure (well not really because I'm not a mom but I can recognize how you're feeling) but stop victimizing yourself--you messed this Halloween thing up, not your XH. You need to accept responsibility for things. Raising a child by blaming his father for things is no good.
Your XH left you and that sucks, but the best thing you can do is to continue counseling and realize that you deserve better than an assshole who would leave you for fake boobs. However this pity party thing you've got going on is the reason we told you NOT to get into another relationship.
Agreed. I was adopted and aside from the whole trainwreck of my marriage, I've got an amazing and successful life. Maybe you and MrsJenniferS should go on a "non-biological" rampage together.
In addition to what pps said, I know people raised by step parents who were better parents and more equipped to love and raise kids than their bio parents. I don't know your ex, but if he walked out on y'all for some plastic, he might be in that category.
Take some time for yourself before you dive into another relationship. It sounds like you're not done healing yourself yet and you owe that to yourself and your child.
Big Hugs!
I am sorry things are not what they should be. "Should" is the key word here. It is what it is and once you accept that, you will then be able to move forward with healing.
You need to make your life what it should be without your stbex.
Don't be so down on yourself! I totally understand where you're coming from where you feel like a total failure... but you're not! Your ex decided to leave, that was HIS choice. I agree with the PP's that you really do not sound ready to date. I would hope that you are getting some counseling to work through your emotions, because you are so wounded right now that you are blaming yourself and your ex for things that you shouldn't be. You're going through a very hard time right now, it's understandable that you forgot his costume... as long as you fed him this morning.. you're good!
Hang in there hun... I feel for you! xoxo
Ditto to this and what Mint said. Diamonds, I feel for you and I know that this is hard. But you do know that it is almost impossible to be successful in a new relationship while you are still hurting from the last one? What would you rather have for your child--to be raised by a single parent who is able to get into a healthy relationship after healing or to be raised by a parent/step-parent that may not be the greatest?
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Seriously. Get yourself together, stop dating other men until you work on yourself. And then maybe you can find a man who can man up and be a great dad and role model to your kid.
My thoughts exactly. Take a few steps back, give yourself some time and room to heal on your own, without a new guy. And no, forgetting your son's Halloween costume doesn't make you a failure as a mom, it just means that shiz happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get a therapist or priest or whatever you need, and move on. And like PP, I mean that in the nicest way possible.
Thank you. I needed that kick in the azz.
You're welcome. and good for you for taking this advice and not making excuses! We're all here for you!
How about someone who splits when their child is a month old? That is how old my son was when we separated, and his father said he wants a divorce when our son was only 2 months old.
You have to do what is best for you and your son. And being with someone who will cheat is not what is best. Trust me, I have to keep telling myself that regularly. You will move on and will be a better person for it.