Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What do you do...
...when you're home alone and need to take your mind off of being home alone?
Last night BF went out with his buddy over night to do some car performance stuff and it was the first time I have slept alone in my apartment, and the first time I've slept alone since the end of August. To keep my mind off of being alone, I re-arranged furniture and cleaned my apartment like a mad woman and chatted on the phone for a bit with a single girlfriend. It seemed like it went okay, but now today at work I'm a little antsy and anxious.
What do you guys do to stay busy, mentally and physically?
Aye karramba.
Re: What do you do...
I guess I've never had this problem. FF doesn't stay the night during the week (per my rules because of DS) and he only comes over 1-3x per week (excluding weekends). I enjoy my alone time and am actually thankful for his 24-hr-on-48-hr-off work schedule.
It sounds like you did a pretty good job of distracting yourself. Why are you still anxious now that you're at work?
I came into work an hour and a half early and there's a lot less work in the morning so I'm not being occupied. So I guess I'm just waiting to hear from BF because he hasn't texted yet today and this is going off my normal routine. Normally I text him to say hey in the morning, he texts me back by 9:30 or 10:00 am, and since he's been out overnight, I don't know what he's up to and it's kind of making me nervous because I'm a worrier. I'm just really trying to distract myself because I let my insecurities get the best of me. Ah.
I don't have this problem, either. I only spend the night with The Artist 2 or maybe 3 times per week. I like my alone time -- I need it.
I think the bigger question is not how to handle being alone, but WHY are you uncomfortable being alone? I don't think that's a good thing. You need some independence and identity apart from the person you're with. You need to be okay with your own company.
You are right. It's difficult for me. Ever since I was a child, I've had trouble being alone. I mean I can go out alone, shopping and what not, and that's normally fine for me, but I hate being home alone. I know there's something wrong with that, but I don't know why it affects me like it does. Hm.
I clean lol or I watch those tv shows I dont watch when my Bf is over like tough love or real housewives...
I would explore this in therapy if I was you. That is not healthy. It's just asking for co-dependency.
We're kind of going out.
I could think of about a million things to do rather than sitting around dwelling on the fact that you're without your BF for one night.
-Take a bubble bath and drink a glass of wine
-Go out with a friend for appetizers or have friends over and watch a movie
-Do some sort of craft
-Work on something for your home like a DIY project
-Scrapbook
-Nest online
-Read a good book
-Bake something
How long have you been together that you haven't slept alone since August? I know this isn't the point of your post however what you wrote screams of co-dependency and I would look into that. You're setting yourself up for misery in any relationship if you cannot be alone for even one night. Do you act this clingy when he's around?
This. Plus, why are you anxious that BF didn't sleep at home? Has he given you a reason to doubt him?
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
This thought also came to my head. For awhile I had a hard time being alone or not distracted because it meant I had to deal with my feelings that I have been avoiding. Once I faced my feelings and fears, I learned it didn't kill me and I was able to explore life on my own with confidence and discovered what I liked to do. Sometimes it is just a trial and error things, you don't know what you like or not like until you try out different things.
I totally have codependency issues. I've been working on it in therapy since June. My marriage and divorce left me with little security and I have been trying so hard to let go of the need to be constantly around someone.
BF and I live together so it was the first time we have slept apart since we moved. It was just something that I needed to get used to. I'm really working on my stuff in therapy.
I just want to not have so much anxiety. BF never gives me any reason to not trust him and that's not the case, but I'm a worry wart and everytime someone doesn't follow a routine I think the worst like "car accident" or something irrational.
I'm a hot mess and I'll be the first to admit it.