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Bah Humbug
I just spent a pretty depressing Halloween... I went over to a friend's house at least and he's someone who kind of fills a little gap but there isn't relationship potential there (he's not the right guy)... and though it's nice to have someone around here and there... it really just ends up leaving me wanting more..... went on fb and saw the ex's girlfriend in this sexy cop outfit.... it's so wrong what happened... she changed her fb name back to her maiden name so maybe her divorce got finalized too (she left her husband like a week or two after J left me).... and it still hurt so much.... and I still love him so much... stupid, stupid stupid me....
I'm so tired of being alone... there... I said it... as we enter the holiday season, I am dreading it... the lonely feeling doesn't seem to get better with time even if the hurt slowly does... I can't really mention this to my family b/c they all have their own grief about dad... wouldn't say anything on facebook b/c of J's family (who still adores me but I don't want to mention anything to upset or bother them)... just felt like I had to say it. I go out on dates here and there but am refusing to settle for just any guy... so I'm still single.... and I'm sick and tired of being alone... so flippin tired of it. It just isn't fair.... 
Guess I just wanted to vent a bit... sigh.
Re: Bah Humbug
THe right guy for me was the man I married... problem is he changed and no longer exists... haven't met anyone yet who measures up to who he was... seems impossible... but here I go, another day... another foot forward.
Thanks girls
Tara... I was reading your post and laughed out loud at an inopportune time... a couple of coworkers looked at me like what the heck, lol.... anyway, thanks for the chuckle... btw... can you tell me what would be perfect for me? I don't even know... lol.
Haha that is funny!