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My emotions are ALL over the place..
I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster. I know my life will get better in time and most of the time I know I'm doing the right thing and am feeling positive about the future, but then it hits me like a brick out of nowhere and I start crying... I all of a sudden get very sad, scared & uncertain about what life's gonna be like. 
I just started crying at my desk and am trying desparately to stop. I think I am mourning the loss of what was "supposed" to be and my current life's structure, like coming home to a nice house, seeing my son everyday, etc..and this will ALL change and I think that's why I'm so sad. Its not losing stbx per se that's killing me, its just the everyday normal stuff that I will miss. Please ... I could use some nice words of encouragement... I'm feeling very down right now Tx!
Re: My emotions are ALL over the place..
I'm sorry you're having a rough morning
Though I don't have kids, I understand what you're saying. I think it's okay to be sad sometimes, but you are going to build a new normal that will allow for a happier life for you. It may not be the life you thought you'd have, but it's still going to be a good one.
And you know what "they" say -- life is what happens to you while you're busy making plans.
And I think you'll be just fine
Hope this helps! If not, there's always this
Big hugs and I am going through the very same thing. I have a 13 month old son and the thought of not seeing him everyday like I should makes me sad.
You have every right to feel this way and mourn over broken dreams. Just let those feeling come so you can get past it. I promise, the feelings do not last very long.
Slowely and surely, you will start to make new dreams to replace the broken ones. May you find really nice surprises coming your way.
You are me (minus the child) last year.
People would tell me that time would make things better and I would get so frustrated because I didn't believe it. But, OaF is so right, you will create a new normal for yourself, and it will be better than what you had before. It will be so worth the wait. You are working through a very hard time, probably even harder than you realize, but you will come out on the other end stronger and more appreciative of the great things in your life.
Be patient, something better is on it's way.
Normal, normal normal.
For me, the idea of losing my family unit and having DS come from a broken home was far more difficult than the thought of no longer being with XH. There were days that I would get teary eyed just at the thought of DS having two homes -- it was extremely difficult for me.
As cliche as it sounds, things really do get better with time. I soon realized that my DS would grow up in my house that would be full of nothing but love for him and that he would have plenty of people in his life that love him...in spite of his parents not being together.
What you're going through right now is just a normal step in the process. I know it hurts and I know it sucks and you're emotionally exhausted. But keep your chin up -- better times are ahead!
Audg my friend, you are I are so much alike. I am struggling with the exact same feelings and grieving over the loss of what should have been and freaking out over not being with my children (4 & 6) every single day.
I know we will both get through this! and this time next year we will have adjusted to the new patterns in our lives!
you will create a new normal for yourself,I love that - it may become my emotional bumper sticker
Audg,
I know exactly how you feel. I don't have any children, but desperately wanted them after being with the same man for 15 yrs. I totally understand where you are coming from on the aspect of mouring the loss of what was supposed to be and the lifestyle you had. We were not rich by any means, but we lived VERY comfortable and it feels to me like it was just ripped away from me. Through my separation and divorce i continued to go to work, as i didn not want to sit in my one bedroom apartment and morn. i went from living in a 5 bedroom house to a tiny one bedroom apartment and there was days when I felt I be ok and overcome this as the days when on, but I'd have a moment like you where i'd just hit a wall and i would be back to square one crying uncontrollably and wondering how I would go on. We have been separated for over a year and will be divorced a year in January, I an even seeing someone else and I still have the moments where i break down and ask myself how did I get here? I still to this day feel very uncomfortable in my apartment, I feel out of place there and I am desperately craving the life I once had.
Its definitely frustrating and I understand EVERY single thing you've said, but I continue to pray daily, for i know this battle is not mine and that one day I will be happy again. i thank the lord for giving me the strength to fight another day, and that tells me that I'll one day be back to myself. It'll get better for you.
Love you much.. Take care