I get a phone call.
"Kari this is so-and-so from Dr. xxx's office."
"Okay."
"I got your lab results back. Your numbers are still going down so you are miscarrying."
"Yeah, I'm aware of that. I thought this test was just to ensure they were still going down and I wasn't having any issues with the levels staying the same."
"Well, I have a note that says that the doctor won't do that until you've had a third miscarriage."
"Won't do what?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Why are you calling me if you don't know what she's talking about?"
"You asked her about a procedure."
"No, I didn't. I asked her why this was happening and she said she would have to LOOK IT UP."
"Oh. I'll have to ask her what she means then."
"Wonderful. So, what time frame do I have to full on MC before we consider a DNC? Also, can I go ahead and set up an appointment with her to ensure that everything is out after the miscarriage completes?"
"Why would I schedule you another appointment?"
"Okay-don't schedule me one then. But tell me-how can you ensure I'm completely cleaned out and nothing is left if you don't examine me?"
"I don't know. I'll ask her."
WHAT THE F&CK. Seriously. WHAT THE F&CK WAS THAT?
Re: Dr. Update: I just have to laugh at this point.
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Oh I have an update!
"Kari-I talked to the doctor. She wants you to follow up in a week with her."
"Okay-I have an appointment already set up for next Monday." (Thinking to myself-I'm praying this other doctor will see me first.)
"Okay."
"Okay-now what was she talking about not checking until after another miscarriage?"
"You asked her to test your levels and see if there was anything low enough to warrant recurrent miscarriages. She won't check that until you have a third."
"Okay-why?"
"Two is by chance. Three there is a reason."
"Two happen at 6w1d by chance?"
"Yes."
"Okay I don't think so but whatever I'm not a doctor."
"No, you're not."
"Great-so at what point do I need to worry about this? How will I know if I need to go to the ER?"
"You'll hemorrhage."
"Isn't that bleeding? I'm already doing that."
"Yes, it is. But it's more like if there are clots."
"There are clots. I'M MISCARRYING. THAT'S PART OF IT."
"Yes, it is."
"So what am I looking for here?"
"I don't know how to explain it to you."
At this point I'm actually laughing and I say,"So how am I supposed to know when to go to the ER if necessary?"
"If you go through more than one pad an hour."
"Okay-that wasn't so hard, was it?"
"No-she'll see you Monday."
"Oh I'm looking forward to it."
and I hang up.
I'm sitting here typing this-laughing/crying/and ready to throat punch a b*tch at this point.
Dude, WHO are you talking to? A nurse? A practitioner?
If you see your doctor you need to tell her on Monday that her staff is extremely incompetent.
As for something as personal and devastating as a miscarriage, you best be betting that my doctor would be talking to me. I would have demanded to speak to my doctor immediately.
You're so strong to go through this.
It's the OB nurse!!!! She should have the answers for these questions! WTF.
I'm hoping and praying my new doctor will have mercy on me and see me sooner than 2 weeks. Keep your fingers crossed ladies!
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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As crazy as it seems it's a pretty "normal" practice. I was told the same thing after my m/c.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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They told me that too. But when I went to my appointment on Monday the doctor said 2 pregnancies resulting in miscarriages at the same point in pregnancy usually results in other issues and testing should be done. That was when she mentioned sending me to a specialist. Now she's back tracking on it.
I'm thinking that the OB nurse didn't even talk to the doctor and went with the usual concessions about miscarriages...take it with a grain of salt.
If you think you need to get tested further, demand it. It's your body.
Ditto this!
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I would then lay part of the blame on the doctor for not informing you of their 3 MC policy before serious testing is done. That makes things very unclear and stressful for people who are already in horrible situations. It would have been hard to hear the 3-rule from the beginning, but at least you wouldn't have been confused about it.
Also, definitely inform the doctor of the nurse's attitude on the phone. Again, in situations like these, the people dealing with the patients need to be able to take it on the chin and not get snippy when people are reacting strongly and negatively to all of this. It's always best to let people get out their frustrations (as long as they're not being abusive, of course) and then proceed calmly and clearly. Obviously, this witch didn't get that memo.
I seriously want to drive up to your doctor's office and throat punch this lady. There is no need to be a douchebag in an already crappy and stressful/emotional situation.
So glad you are seeing someone new soon. Fingers crossed that the new doctor will be much much better.
And I second those cliff vibes someone else mentioned.
the wedding | the blog
This. so this. WTFingH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Angry for you. Hope you get in to the new doctor soon!!!
Ugh I just read the update and I'm appalled at her lack of sensitivity and incompetence! I've heard the 3 miscarriage rule as well, but if your doctor initially mentioned testing and is now backtracking on it, I'd definitely call her out.
At this point, I'm just hoping you can see your new doctor ASAP. Maybe s/he will do a progesterone check 7 days after you ovulate to see what your levels are--without you having to wait for a potential 3rd miscarriage. Fingers crossed for you and lots of hugs heading your way!!
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)