Family Matters
Bump Kathleen
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How do you handle holiday etiquette?
We need your feedback for an upcoming project on The Nest!
How do you keep harmony in the family during the holidays? For example, do you have any overall tips on how to keep the harmony? How do you negotiate which in-laws you spend time with? How do you deal with the invitations issue? How can couples maintain holiday traditions without hurting feelings?
You can reply here or email community@thebump.com with your responses.
Thanks!
Re: How do you handle holiday etiquette?
As someone who has a blended family, arranging holidays by coordinating our schedule with the schedule of a former spouse, the rest of my extended family simply had to accept the fact that we set up our holiday visitation schedule based on when we had all of our children together. They were our first priority and if that meant that we had to do Christmas with the ILs (or even my own parents) on December 26th or the Saturday after Thanksgiving, then that's the way it was.
I would say that we set our foot down about this right away but luckily our extended families understood that we wanted our children's holiday experience to take priority.
Don't you guys read any of our posts? We're constantly telling posters it's not their j.o.b. to make anyone else have a good time, negotiatiion is futile and caving to IL demands to keep the peace never works and invitations are not subpoenas. And "hurt feelings" go with the territory - if you don't want to be a doormat.
Really now.
Two thumbs up.
I know this has been talked about on here before, but we figured out pretty early how we handle the holidays. Thanksgiving is the holiday that we rotate on. Every other year we spend it with H's fam and every other year we spend it with mine. Christmas is the holiday we always spend together just me and H. My family has never expected its married members to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with them. We were always taught that Christmas is a family event first and foremost and traditionally the married members of our family spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with their husband/wife and children. Any traveling to do visits either happened later on Christmas day if you were within driving distance or took place sometime before or after Christmas.
This year we are spending Thanksgiving with my family. We will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning just H and I, and then may join my family for Christmas dinner since they are within driving distance (H's parents are several states away and not within driving distance). Next year we will do Thanksgiving with H's family. The only person that isn't crazy about this is MIL because she thinks family should be together for each and every holiday. H is just really firm about it and politely declined her invitation for us to fly down there for Christmas. We will probably have Christmas with them in January or February when we can afford to do the traveling.