S/O How you grew up below

jennuinne · November 2011

It seems that most of us grew up without a lot of money. But, I think most of us live a much different lifesytle now and expect a lifestyle much more expensive than we grew up with. So, do you think about how different your kids (if you have them or plan to) will grow up? Does that freak you out? Do you have plans to help keep them humble and appreciate what they have and learn to earn things?

therickson · November 2011

I would raise my kids how I was raised. Give them good experiances and have them see the world but things like clothes and whatnot would be the basics unless they earned them. Starting at a pretty young age too we had a "monthly budget" we could spend and that was how we got any new clothes, shoes (inuding school clothes) or anything we wanted to do without my parents.

amandasw · November 2011

this is a big discussion for H and I to have one day and we've talked about how this will be a 'problem' for us. We both grew up without a lot of money (his family even more so) and we both appreciate money, hard work etc. My fear is of the two extremes:

- having spoiled kids who don't realize what they have

- having kids who resent us for not giving them everything (I have a friend whose parents went this extreme and I can understand why she would think they're selfish etc)

mgoss228 · November 2011

Do you think about how different your kids (if you have them or plan to) will grow up?

I think about it on occasion.

Does that freak you out?

A little, because DH and I are so not at the "right" point emotionally or financially to start a family right now.

Do you have plans to help keep them humble and appreciate what they have and learn to earn things?

I do. I would like them to have at least 1 job when they are in their Senior year of HS. I wish I would have worked somewhere in HS, and think I missed out on some life experiences that way.

Other than that, I want to be able to buy them the "nice" big pack of crayons for school, and buy them the "cool" toys, etc. But if they act like spoiled brats and act out (behavior or bad grades in school) I would limit their entertainment and toys.

I would also refuse to buy them a cell phone until they are driving and/or working. And no smart phones.... not until they pay for it themselves. I probably wouldn't buy them their own car, they could borrow a car of ours.

sarack · November 2011

I think about this all the time. My mom had no money. At one point we lived in her friend's wood shed... When I was 11, I moved with my dad. I never went without with him. My biggest motivation is to never live like my mother lived.

I hope that by showing them the value of money early and how hard/long it takes to earn it to buy something you want, it will teach them that money doesn't grow on trees. I think that is a huge lesson. No one ever taught me about money and I think when you don't know the value, you don't realize how it works.

KST_ · November 2011

Looking back, I think we lived quite comfortably, but I always thought we didn't because my mom ALWAYS was CONSTANTLY making comments about how we didn't have money for this or that. I'm not too worried about it as we aren't ridiculous with our money and while I may go on little spending splurges now and again, we try to be conscientious. We buy store brand stuff when we can't tell the difference from the name-brand. I may be buying some more clothes lately, but I haven't refreshed my warddrobe really in YEARS and more than half of it is hand-me-downs or super old (as in, 10 years or more).

jennlin · November 2011

we were "comfortable" growing up..nothing extravagant, but we never went hungry or w/o the newest toys. we probably had a *little* more money than others, because we went on more vacations, had a computer before others did..etc..

h and i are better off than my parents, and less off than his parents (although not by much). however we do plan on having me SAH for at least a bit, so we'll be pretty equal to my parents.

we plan on taking the kids on moderate vacations, eating out as little as possible, decent clothes-but not designer, but staying up to date with technology. i don't really know what to classify this as...

KST_ · November 2011

jennlin:

we plan on taking the kids on moderate vacations, eating out as little as possible, decent clothes-but not designer, but staying up to date with technology. i don't really know what to classify this as...

Not sure what to classify as either, but while we haven't talked about it, that's what I plan on, too! Moderate vacations = lots of the family in a car touring 'Merica. I think that's such a great thing for childhood! I have a few fond memories of that. Pizza nights were special. My dad was always into computers before everyone else, so I had that early on. I just want to keep up but without being an early adopter, more just main curve. I won't get to be a SAHM or H a SAHD though, kind of sadly. I wish we could have one of us there until they start kindergarten.

uwhuskygirl · November 2011

I had a very good childhood and I'd want to give my offspring what I had or better. There's no way that I can maintain my lifestyle and give my offspring more than I had, so this is part of the reason why I'm not having kids.

I'm not willing to give up my lifestyle and I don't want my offspring to "suffer" either.

jennuinne · November 2011

I like the points about not knowing what your parents had. We didn't have much when we were young, but for the most part, we didn't notice. And I expect will be much better off, but I don't want our kids to know what's in the bank and expect things. On the flip side, when things were tight or my parents were saying why we couldn't have something, they were open about what things cost and whether they could afford it. So, I think we need to find a balance.

I think I am who I am because of how I grew up and I fear have spoiled kids. I want to give them things and experiences and travel and have nice clothes, but not spoil them or make them feel entitled. And I want to make sure they still understand the value in things and what it feels like to earn something. We'll probably do an allowance when they're old enough and not give them everything they want. With cars and school and big expenses like that, I'd like to help, but we'll have to figure out I way for them to contribute or earn it too.

Tygirljojo · November 2011

I think about it pretty regularly. I remember hearing stories from my mom when I as growing up about how poor her family was (think poor family in a 3rd world country) so I always knew to appreciate what bit we did have (food on the table, our own beds, decent clothes, toys) and make do.

H and I have talked about a few things like how, even if we win the lottery or are making a ridiculous amount of money, our kid won't have a brand new car when they turn 16 (or 15), they will have to earn things, do chores, and learn the value of things. I want our kid to understand that they don't need to spend the most to get the best quality, but to always weigh things and make wise decisions.

jennuinne · November 2011

Tygirljojo:

I think about it pretty regularly. I remember hearing stories from my mom when I as growing up about how poor her family was (think poor family in a 3rd world country) so I always knew to appreciate what bit we did have (food on the table, our own beds, decent clothes, toys) and make do.

We always had our own beds. But, when we were little, my brother and I shared a room. Later, when my dad remarried, I shared a room w/ my step-sister. Right now DH and I have a 2 bedroom townhouse and in this economy, we may be stuck there for a long time. So, I've thought about having 2 kids share a room when they're little. Really, it's not a big deal. But, it's something I feel like people think is undoable these days. I have friends who feel that they need to buy a new house and take a loss b/c each child needs their own room. I mean, ideally we'd have a bigger house. But, I think we can suck it up for a few years.

Tygirljojo · November 2011

jennuinne:
Tygirljojo:

I think about it pretty regularly. I remember hearing stories from my mom when I as growing up about how poor her family was (think poor family in a 3rd world country) so I always knew to appreciate what bit we did have (food on the table, our own beds, decent clothes, toys) and make do.

We always had our own beds. But, when we were little, my brother and I shared a room. Later, when my dad remarried, I shared a room w/ my step-sister. Right now DH and I have a 2 bedroom townhouse and in this economy, we may be stuck there for a long time. So, I've thought about having 2 kids share a room when they're little. Really, it's not a big deal. But, it's something I feel like people think is undoable these days. I have friends who feel that they need to buy a new house and take a loss b/c each child needs their own room. I mean, ideally we'd have a bigger house. But, I think we can suck it up for a few years.

My brother and I had to share a room for a few years as well, but we each usually had our own bed. I mentioned the bed because A) in Thailand many of my relatives share a bed with other relatives (in some cases 3 adults on a king sized bed) and some of my relatives sleep on a mat on the floor. I know my mom slept on the floor growing up and she share the mat on the floor with a few of her siblings.

S/O How you grew up below

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