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how do I ever give oral again?
Hi everyone,
Ok this is my first post on here, so....go easy on me, please! Last week, my new hubby and I (going on 3 months) got into a bit of an argument about oral....we've since talked it over, but I am still very concerned about it. What happened was we were fooling around, and things progressed, and while I was down on him, he gave this great sigh of frustration and then told me I was very frustrating because I wasn't doing it how he wanted me to. So at that point, I wanted to just quit, but I figured that wouldn't be the best decision, so of course I finished and just hoped that something had click. Afterwards, I was pretty upset, and when I did get him talking about it, he started basically complaining about the way I give oral and that I haven't listened to any of the things that he says he likes in our 3 years together. He also said how it was frustrating that I don't tell him exactly what I like the way that he tells me. The thing with that is, I don't feel like I need to instruct him. He just knows what to do. And I did feel that I have listened to his advice for him...but I guess it hasn't shown.
Like I said, we did talk it over and we agreed that we are both very giving sexually, but I still don't know how I can go back to giving him oral without feeling super self-conscious. I have lost all confidence.
Re: how do I ever give oral again?
He's telling you this NOW.
WHYYYY didn't he say something WHEN this problem began????
Again....and I will say it again, once more:
Communication is key.
You might want to go to a mainstream bookstore and buy a for-couples video and for-couples instructional book. See if that does the trick, so to speak.
Don't use teeth; the head is the most sensitive part and concurrently using your other hand to give him a little caress the balls action will be mighty fine, too.
To piggy back on PP's advice, you could try www.Sex101.com. I've seen quite a bit of useful information there.
Next time you try, have one hand circle the penis at the base of the shaft. Use your other hand to stroke the shaft, that way you control the depth he goes into your mouth. And wet the stroking hand occasionally, the guys seem to like that. Occasionally stroke his full length with your hand and lick the balls. Of course, none of us know what he wants. Some guys like to have a finger up their bum, some guys like to be deep-throated.
Has he gotten specific with what he wants? Or is he just telling you that you are doing it wrong? Because I would not be in a hurry to get back down there if my H told me he was getting frustrated because I was doing it all wrong.
Wow, how insensitive.
He owes you a big apology. What he said went over like a fart in a crowded elevator.
What happned to "mmm honey move over a bit to your right to that spot right there that would feel great"???
Yeah he did finally apologize...after much explanation about why I was hurt. But now I think we are both nervous about me going down again there because of all this.
He has been specific before about things that he likes...and so I try to incorporate those things sometimes, but not all the time because I thought guys liked you to keep them guessing. But thank you all for the tips! I will also check out that website, so hopefully something will click.
Don't regress from stuff that he likes. If you want to experiment with new stuff that's one thing, but don't drop back to stuff that he doesn't like. That would frustrate the hell out of me too. However, that doesn't excuse him for being an ass.
Do you even enjoy doing it?