My friend called me early last Wednesday morning in a panic. She had just called 911 for her dad. She's had a really tough time the last week. It turns out that her dad's aorta burst in 3 places. He had to have major surgery. They brought him back 3 times, he had to have his colon removed, he is on dialysis because his kidney's shut down and he's in a sedated state because they don't want to wake him up because of the pain so they aren't even sure if there's brain damage or not. I feel awful for my friend - she's very close to her dad. She had a panic attack and had to be rushed to the ER too. Her mom is a diabetic and has had a few episodes too. Her sister and brother aren't taking this well either. They have a big family so I know they have lots of support there but any prayers for this family are appreciated.
I feel lost as to what to do. I'm making sure her job is taken care of - plans are made each day and so I'm hoping she's not worried about that part. I'm not sure what else I can do. I made a few suggestions but she has turned them down. I asked if she needed food or a distraction (mindless movie or just to sit and talk) but she just wants to be with her family. What would you do? I call her every other day or so to ask if she needs anything and how things are going but I don't want to be a bother either.
Thanks ladies.
Re: Thoughts and Prayers
I understand she wants to be with her family, and it may be exhausting for her to talk. I would just make sure she knows that work things are being taken care of (less stress). If you know she's coming home one night I would consider leaving a gift for her at home- either a restaurant gift card (for take out- hospital food gets old), or Wegmans card and a nice card with a note letting her know you are there.
In these situations just knowing friends are there and care really do make a difference- I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.
That's so sad. I'll keep her in my prayers.
I definitely think you're doing all you can by reaching out. Just letting her know someone is there I'm sure means a lot to her.
I think the best is just her knowing that you are there for her. I can understand her just wanting to be with family, and food is not really going to be on her mind, but anything from a card to a meal is really helpful. If she's spending most of her time at the hospital, a home cooked meal might not be an option to give her, but if it is, just make sure it doesn't involve any kind of pan or dish that has to be returned.
And to know things are being handled at work while she is away is probably a huge relief, I know for me it was one less thing to have to think about. Little things like an e-mail or card saying you are thinking of her and her fmaily can mean so much.
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I wish we had a Wegmans around here!
Thanks everyone though. I think I'll just send a card with maybe a DD card in it since there's one by the hospital.
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