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help: friend is being "kicked out" of bf's house.

one of my coworkers, who i like a LOT got in a fight with her bf of 8 years last night...this morning, via TEXT he said "where can i send your stuff, because if you come back, i'll call the cops".

 

i can't find the exact RCW that says he is required to give her notice. can anybody help? thanks.

♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
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♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

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Re: help: friend is being "kicked out" of bf's house.

  • I'm not sure what this fight is over, but doesn't that seem extreme for a relationship that's been going on for 8 years? Will things cool down long enough for them to talk?
  • imageuwhuskygirl:
    I'm not sure what this fight is over, but doesn't that seem extreme for a relationship that's been going on for 8 years? Will things cool down long enough for them to talk?

    i don't know, i hope so. she told me what the fight was about, and it's stupid. but she said it's kind of been going on for a while, and he says he's "just tired of it".....which happens...

    ETA: well, i dunno if "i hope so"...because i don't want her to be living with someone who could snap like that at her again....she's new, so i really don't know her that well, but i really like her and don't want her to be going through crap like this.

    i want her to at least be able to pick up her stuff w/o any trouble...cause seriously...is he going to be able to pack up all her stuff and get it to her by morning? no. she needs to brush her teeth tonight and get fresh undies for tomorrow.

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imagejennlin:

    imageuwhuskygirl:
    I'm not sure what this fight is over, but doesn't that seem extreme for a relationship that's been going on for 8 years? Will things cool down long enough for them to talk?

    i don't know, i hope so. she told me what the fight was about, and it's stupid. but she said it's kind of been going on for a while, and he says he's "just tired of it".....which happens...

    uhhhhmmm..... Indifferent

    I know that H gets tired of me, but he's never told me to get my shiz or else he's calling the cops. There's a missing piece to this story. 

  • imagejennlin:

    i want her to at least be able to pick up her stuff w/o any trouble...cause seriously...is he going to be able to pack up all her stuff and get it to her by morning? no. she needs to brush her teeth tonight and get fresh undies for tomorrow.

    If all else fails Target sells both of those items... 

  • Is she on the lease? Does he own the house?
  • Is she legally on the lease for the place?  Or is it a place that he owns or something else like that?
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  • imageuwhuskygirl:

    I know that H gets tired of me, but he's never told me to get my shiz or else he's calling the cops. There's a missing piece to this story. 

    well she said they've been fighting for "some-time"..i don't know how long that is...my guess is that he has anger issues..which triggered the "or i'll call the cops" comment...or that they've broken up several times before in the last 8 years.

    i think she'd be fine calling the police or somebody for an escort to the house to pick up her stuff. i really don't know how good/bad the situation is..but she was a mess this morning when she got the text, and it hurts me to see someone, anyone like that. 

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • the house is owned by her bf's parents. i'm not sure how long she's lived there...
    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • That's tricky - I'm not sure if there is a law in place for that situation.  I know there is one for landlords to evict tenants.  I would have her have the sheriff and a friend accompany her to pick up her stuff.  That really sucks, but it sounds like it's for the best for her?
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    Family fall photo session with Ashley Hoyle Photography
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  • imageTygirljojo:
    That's tricky - I'm not sure if there is a law in place for that situation.  I know there is one for landlords to evict tenants.  I would have her have the sheriff and a friend accompany her to pick up her stuff.  That really sucks, but it sounds like it's for the best for her?

    yeah, i don't know if he counts as a "landlord", but i know that if they *really* took it to court, his parents could designate him as an official property manager or something...she said they've been doing remodels on the house for years..so i hate that she's losing out on her investment in it. but..yeah..for the best, if he really is a bad guy....which i don't know much about.

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imagejennlin:
    the house is owned by her bf's parents. i'm not sure how long she's lived there...

    unless there's some sort of lease or contract I don't think she has any legal claim to entering the property.

    If she does go back she should send someone for her or have an escort go with her. This doesn't sound like a good or safe at all. 

  • imagejennlin:

    yeah, i don't know if he counts as a "landlord", but i know that if they *really* took it to court, his parents could designate him as an official property manager or something...she said they've been doing remodels on the house for years..so i hate that she's losing out on her investment in it. but..yeah..for the best, if he really is a bad guy....which i don't know much about.

    not to be a jackhole, but this is something she should have thought about before she started sinking money in to a property that she doesn't own or have any legal rights to. 

  • imageuwhuskygirl:

    not to be a jackhole, but this is something she should have thought about before she started sinking money in to a property that she doesn't own or have any legal rights to. 

    I'm with UW.  It's a harsh lesson to learn, but unless someone is bound to you legally, never assume anything.

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    Wedding Planning Bio - Updated 6/13/2010
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  • imageuwhuskygirl:

    imagejennlin:
    the house is owned by her bf's parents. i'm not sure how long she's lived there...

    unless there's some sort of lease or contract I don't think she has any legal claim.

    If she does go back she should send someone for her or have an escort go with her. This doesn't sound like a good or safe at all. 

    really? even if she's lived there for a long time? have you seen that one movie.....it's like 10-15 yrs old comedy...called love stinks..or something. this guy and gf break up, and she sues him and the situation is "worse than a divorce".   doesn't she become a legal occupant of that home if she stays there X amount of time, receives mail there, etc? or did hollywood lie to me?

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imageuwhuskygirl:

    not to be a jackhole, but this is something she should have thought about before she started sinking money in to a property that she doesn't own or have any legal rights to. 

    agree--but "these days" so many people live together, etc way before marriage and do things jointly *like* a married couple....not something i would do personally, but again....it happens...

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imagejennlin:

    really? even if she's lived there for a long time? have you seen that one movie.....it's like 10-15 yrs old comedy...called love stinks..or something. this guy and gf break up, and she sues him and the situation is "worse than a divorce".   doesn't she become a legal occupant of that home if she stays there X amount of time, receives mail there, etc? or did hollywood lie to me?

    I don't know for sure, but I think Hollywood lied to you. 

    Washington isn't a common law marriage state. 

  • imageuwhuskygirl:

    I don't know for sure, but I think Hollywood lied to you. 

    Washington isn't a common law marriage state. 

    the commonlaw marriage thing i know about..because my brother always claimed that him and his ex were common-law married, which they are/were not. 

    but what about residency? doesn't she at least have a right on where she's living?

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imagejennlin:

    but what about residency? doesn't she at least have a right on where she's living?


    My guess is no. She has a right to her property inside, but I don't think she can go there to get it unless she has his permission.

    Can she call his parents to explain what's going on to have them let her in to the house? 

    ETA: Here's some info on adverse possession.


  • I think that when some one lets you stay at their house for more than 3 months, you DO have rights to the place. The only reason I know is because I had a situation where I moved in with a roommate and he and his girlfriend started stealing my things.. and then tried to kick me out... but somewhere ir ead that because he let me sleep there, even though he told me he didn't think it was necessary to change the contract, since he let me live there, i had a right to the place..

    i'm sorry i don't have time to google it but i'm pretty sure she can go get her stuff.

    and if police need to be involved, she can call them and have an escort to get her things...

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  • imagesarack:

    and if police need to be involved, she can call them and have an escort to get her things...

    this was my thought.  SHE should call the police first and tell them about it, say she feels it's not safe to go back alone and needs to get her things.

  • I would definitely have her call the police and ask for an escort to get her things.

    If his parents' owned the place, she's likely not going to get anything out of the investments she helped fund. She could talk to a lawyer, but it's not likely. Unfortunately, this is why it's extremely important to have contracts in place when you're living together (which is extremely common these days), or at the minimum, to either both be on the property, or to not put money towards the property without a contract.

    Super crappy situation for her though :(.  

  • My sister evicted someone from her rental house (be assured, it was appropriate) and she has to pay the sheriff to come supervise the packing up of all the stuff.  It's easier than in your friend's circumstance b/c everything in the house is theirs, but it can be done.  She should get what she needs for the next few days and arrange for that (or perhaps a lawyer?) to accompany her for the visit to get her things.  And then talk to the lawyer about her rights.
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  • I don't have anything to add that other people didn't say, but ditto. ;-; It's a sucky situation, but if it's not in writing it'll be hard to get anything back.

    WA isn't really a common-anything state as far as I know. I think there are even anti-squatting laws, which is what your friend technically was doing I think if it wasn't in writing.

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  • I don't know about charges but she should see if he would allow a friend in to pick up her belongings? Although it sounds like she's been living there for years so that's not a case of "some stuff at a bf's house" and "all my worldly possesions." I'm sorry, that whole situation SUCKS.
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  • There is such a thing as a meretricious relationship in WA, whereby two unmarried people have a marriage-like relationship (under certain circumstances, length of relationship, co-mingling of assests, etc.) and you can have some rights.  Tenants also have rights, but I'm sure she doesn't have a lease.  I think she may be able to sue him for the money she invested, depending on their situation.  But, I doubt she has any right to stay at the house...only to get her stuff back.  She should have a third party assist.  Police will sometimes do this, but often require a court order (at least that's the case when there is a DV crime committed or alleged).  I had a client who was charged with burglary in a similar case for going back into house to get her stuff w/o permission, so don't do that!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imagejennuinne:
    I had a client who was charged with burglary in a similar case for going back into house to get her stuff w/o permission, so don't do that!

    yikes that sucks. she said that she was going to try and get him to "let her" go back to the house to grab stuff, but if not, then she'd have to call for assistance. i hope it works out for her :(

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • Keep us posted!
    image
    Family fall photo session with Ashley Hoyle Photography
    Married 7/10/10
    Wedding Planning Bio - Updated 6/13/2010
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