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Well I may as well intro..
Since lately I have been responding to ridiculous posts where I defend you wonderful ladies and gentlemen I may as well not be such a creeper and tell you a bit about myself.
I'm JustTheWayYouAre aka JustTheWay... I am a regular on the GP Moms board. I have been posting on the knot/nest since 2006 when I was planning my wedding.
I have been married for 5 years, we have 2 daughters D just turned 5 and K will be 2 in December.
I am unhappily married and have been contemplating leaving him for the past 16 mths? something like that. He is a good person and a fantastic father. He does not cheat, is not an addict, no physical abuse. We are just not a good match. If I am honest about things there were red flags when we got engaged. But three months after our engagement (right when I was ready to end it) I got pregnant so I did the "right" thing and married him.
I have been putting my happiness on the back burner for a long time b/c he was happy and my kids were happy so I did not believe that it mattered that I am unhappy. I have realized this is not a healthy way to live and that I need to be happy too. About 6 wks ago I told him that I want a divorce. He was devastated and acted like it was a surprise (not really sure how he could be surprised by this I do not hide my unhappiness). He tried to guilt me into thinking that I would be destroying our family and ruin our daughters' lives. Which in all honesty the girls are the only reason I am still in this marriage and that is not good either.
He has since stepped up his game and I do see him making an effort but a large part of me feels like it is too little too late. He refuses counseling and I am not about to force him to go. I am seeking individual counseling for myself as I know I have many demons I need to face. Right now I'm kinda in limbo. Still married but not happily. Not actively seeking separation or divorce but I do have half completed divorce papers in a drawer in my desk at work just waiting for the right time.
So yeah that's basically my back story. Ask questions if you want. Now that I've outed myself I will probably post here more often. I think this board is very supportive and you all have some great advice to give.
Re: Well I may as well intro..
Welcome to the board. I'm glad you're in counseling already, I think it's easier to know you're making the right decision for you and your girls when you have a third party involved.
Hello and Welcome!
Sorry you're in such a tight spot... I know you'll make the decision that is best for you.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Ugh, it's so tough, being the one who wants to leave.. I know! Its the weight of the world on your shoulders and such a huge decision that you are contemplating because you know that YOU will be the one who has to live with it. I know 100% what that's like. I just finally told my stbx that I was divorcing him over this past wknd...but it had been a long time coming. I was the same way...trying to do what was "best" for my son, but really came to realize that raising him in a loveless marraige was not best for him. Stbx never wanted to do therapy either and I asked him to go for yrs! After a while, I just became empty and had no desire to even fix things anymore. I feel for you because its a real $hitty place youre in right now. But, welcome to this board..it is very supportive and seriously don't know if I would've had the courage to end it if it wasn't for all the great advise and support I get through this board (and close friends as well). I hope you have a good support system (family, friends) because that really helps! xoxo