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Made a counseling appointment too...

So next week I start counseling to work through my emotions and to help me heel from the collapse of my marriage and the heartbreak.

What do you do in the first meeting?... I fear that if I start confiding everything that has happened I will babble incoherently while sobbing...

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Re: Made a counseling appointment too...

  • Honestly, you'll probably do exactly as you mentioned above if that's how you react. And that's just fine. The therapist will guide a discussion with you, learn about your situation and you'll talk a lot. You really probably don't get to solutions/direct action until maybe the third session depending on how involved your situation is. 
  • Seriously, it is fine if you do. I think that is very, very normal. You are going through a rough emotional time and no one expects you to hold it together 100% of the time. I guarantee it has happened before. Just talk about whatever is going on. The therapist will ask clarification questions if needed.

    ETA: Oh, and good for you for going! GL!

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • where do you start your story?  with recent events that triggered the divorce or way back when you first meet and how the marriage was in the beginning etc.

    It just seems so hard to tell a complete stranger everything in a clear manner

    image
  • Yeah, I agree with PP's.. you probably will sob incoherently and that's fine.  It's very healthy to feel your emotions and not bottle them up or act like they don't exist.  A good friend of mine told me that for every bad day I have, its one day closer to healing...and I love this advice... I think about that everyday I'm sad or sitting in with the therapist going through all my crap.  It's a necessary step and we will get through this!!  xoxo
  • imageSapphire70:

    where do you start your story?  with recent events that triggered the divorce or way back when you first meet and how the marriage was in the beginning etc.

    It just seems so hard to tell a complete stranger everything in a clear manner

     

    I was wondering the same thing too, but you know, even if you rehearsed how you were going to start, the minute you sit down on that chair/couch next to a box of tissue, it's all going to go out the window anyway.  Just let it flow and the therapist will guide you. GL!

  • My therapist just started with asking questions. In the first session we just went over basics- what made me decide to seek counseling, who does my family consist of, history of mental illness in the family, how are my relationships with friends/family/husband, etc. 

    After we got through all of that, the following sessions we just talked about whatever I felt like talking about. I think the second session I wasn't really sure where to start, so she just asked a couple more questions to get me going. I didn't start in with H issues until the third session, and every one since then has been about our relationship.

    It comes pretty easily once you get started. 

    image
  • My first session was more like  a "getting to know" you session.

     

    The second session was more getting into the nitty gritty. 

    image
    They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
  • My counselor has a box of tissues and a garbage can right next to the couch. Crying in counseling is totally normal. Different counselors have different methods, some will want to know all about your background and family history and family dynamics, others just say "Why are you here, whats going on with you?" and you just jibber jabber about whatever you think of first.
  • Don't worry if you bable. This is not a business presentation.

    Your therapist will want to know a little about you (history of mental illness, substance abuse.... that kind of thing). Mine had a questionnaire. Then he/she will ask you why you are seeking their services.

    image
  • imageSapphire70:

    where do you start your story?  with recent events that triggered the divorce or way back when you first meet and how the marriage was in the beginning etc.

    It just seems so hard to tell a complete stranger everything in a clear manner

    Eh. Either the therapist will guide you or just start with whatever comes out of your mouth first. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to start a therapy session. If they don't ask guiding questions, just say the first thing that pops into your head. Or say "I'm not sure where to start" which will cause them to ask you guiding questions.

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • The first appointment I had we talked a lot about my past, both recent and extended. You probably will cry, but they expect that. It will help you get through it. I applaude you for going to counseling. It has been a big help for me.
  • I cried so much at my first counseling appointment the cry::talk ratio was probably 70%::30%.

    That's what they do. They get it -- don't worry.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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