Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how do you prepare for childbirth?
Lurker here, but thought you ladies would enjoy this thread:
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/59884800/ShowThread.aspx
Re: how do you prepare for childbirth?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Wow.
In all seriousness though - is it a terribly horrible experience aside from the baby part? I have similar fears, but won't choose the same ways of dealing with them as the OP in that post. Give it to me straight mothers of TIP!
You mean you're not going to engage in fisting to prepare your body? That's too bad, DL. I'm disappointed in you.
Not going to kid you- it's painful! Just in the very early stages of contractions, it was PAINFUL. But once I got my epi, I was good to go...
I tore a little, but nothing too horrible. I actually didn't poop (this is something no one seems to actually warn moms about!)
Actually, putting the epi in was bad - they had to do it twice, and it caused some bruising on my lower back that when I was in recovery, THAT caused me more pain getting up and moving around than anything else did. Maybe that's why it all didn't seem so bad - that took my mind off the rest.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
My first thought was total MUD, but she had prior posts so who knows! I love how she thinks the other posters who are talking about fisting and becoming gapingly huge are serious and she wants to pm them!!!!!
On the serious side this was my biggest fear w having my first dd, and I did end up tearing, but it is fine now. To be honest it was hard to recover from though. My dd was 10 pd 1 oz though, that is why I tore.
I honestly think that there is not much you can do to prevent whatever is going to happen, from happening when it comes to tears. Keigels can help with pushing, but when it comes to tears you just have to go with whatever happens, you can't prep in advance.
If I knew it would keep me from tearing, I would be fisting every night.
Broc, I just meant the experience of giving birth. Like the tearing, pain, etc. I assume it's something people get over because they do it over and over again. As I get older my tolerance to pain is decreasing rapidly. WTH.
I went natural (with hypnobirthing), and I am not going to say that it was pain free. It hurt like hell. But there is something totally incredible that happens- must be hormonal- that just kind of makes you forget the pain, I think, once you have the baby in your arms. Sounds corny and v cliche, but that was my experience.
That being said I am going epi w #2 for sure!
Well, I got put under within like 2 hours of starting active labor. When I was coming out my H had to remind me to press my morphine drip and then I could have a percoset and a motrin every 6 hours. I had a C section and was up and walking within 12 hours. I was within 2 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight by my 2 week checkup.
That part, the physical part, was cake. The emotional, baby parts not so much.
There is the placenta that has to come out after the baby is born. I actually can't even recall is DS was in my arms yet or not, or if I was just watching what they were doing w/ them. But all of a sudden I realized by doctor had reached back up in there and pulled the placenta out and plopped it on a tray! No recollection of her actually doing it - I was too distracted.
And while I'm not having another child, there is absolutely nothing about the experience of being PG or actual childbirth that would make me pause about getting PG again.
Maybe a part of it is that going into it, I knew there was a good chance I'd be one and done. But I loved being PG, and I actually just think back to being in labor and the next couple days in the hospital as an almost peaceful experience. It's hard to describe, but it was just a really wonderful thing.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Instead of fisting, I started out with a small dildo when I was just 16 and every year would go up a size until I was able to stuff a beach ball all up in there.
DS just flew right out and he was a big baby!
Granted, sex really sucks now because neither of us feel a thing, but at least I didn't tear. You can never start too early to prepare for childbirth.
DS was 8 lb 11 oz and everything went back to pretty much normal down there. I had an episiotomy, but it healed just fine
lol!
Is that lingo for a severe tear?
I know the feeling you're talking about. I was just so in awe of my baby and couldn't get over how cute he was. I had an overwhelming feeling of unconditional love for him and I honestly don't recall much of the pain of birth. The feeling is kind of the same as when you've started dating someone you are head over heels over them and you have that head in the clouds, nothing could ever go wrong feeling.
Giving birth is pretty much a blur to me. I recall my placenta being delivered (bad idea to watch that in the mirror overhead) and my epidural wearing off just as he was giving me an episiotomy. While I recall that happening, I don't recall the pain. The thought of it doesn't make me cringe.
No, they cut you so that you don't tear.
DS's head was huge, his pulse was going down - they had to get him out. So she cut me in order to move things along. I would have torn otherwise. Some say tearing is actually better because it's natural and will heal better.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I was given an episiotomy with pete and it hurt like a sonofabitch, probably worse than actual labor. But honestly, I bet money it's because I didn't get any warning. The doctor assumed I'd had an epi and just sliced.
I tore with pinky and it hurt like a sonofabitch. Actually, it felt like indian burn to my netherregions but I'm not sure if that's because of the tearing or because she was sunny side up.
In any case, yes, it hurt but not traumatizingly so. I'm having another one, aren't I? And not because I forgot. I think the women who say they forgot in the glow of their newborn baby are high or were high or something. Yes, I felt a rush of emotion and shiit but I was also starving and wanted a good nap. You don't forget but it doesn't haunt you or anything.
As to the baby being a fat thing, pete was 8 lbs 9oz and pinky was 5lbs 14oz. Her fat head hurt more.
Click me, click me!
I wouldn't recommend fisting to prepare for labor lol! We did have lots of sex the day Abby was born, but that was on recommendation of the doctor. We had no idea that it could actually work. Something about the prostaglandin in the sperm fluid that can ripen your cervix etc. My H was excited and I figured WTH-- so we did it and here we are.
Doglove, I think the anticipation of labor really was worse. I had a very "easy" labor. It was short (4 hours from the time we entered the hospital) & no pain medications. The contractions were the worst for me, TBH. I labored at home through most of it and the not being able to do anything but scream obscenities was really where I felt helpless.
The same is true for laboring through the worst of it laying down on the hospital bed. Pushing (in my experience) was a God send. I was ready to push and it actually felt good. Sorry for the TMI, but imagine the pushing like going #2 and you really want to get it out. Its a relief because you feel like you are doing something active to end the suffering.
I won't lie. There is definitely the "ring of fire" when the baby's head is crowning and you feel it. However, you are so intent on what you are doing that you almost don't care. The same is true for tearing. I had a minor 2nd degree tear (they tried to prevent it with olive oil and massaging, but in the end it happened anyway) but I didn't even know it until my midwife told me. I've examined my parts since then and can't figure out where the stitches are, so there you have it.
I don't know if my experience is average. I wouldn't think so. I feel very lucky to be able to have an easy labor. I wasn't afraid at any point (and I thought I would be) or upset. In fact, when they piled her on me after she came out I was just in shock. I just couldn't believe I did it and she was here! I just stared at her and kept saying, "wow! Its my baby!".
I will say the pain/swelling and general discomfort afterward is where I had a bad experience. Thank God for the icepacks they have for your undies, and this spray that numbs things. That, and opiates. My labia etc. was so swollen that doing anything was very painful.
So all in all I would do it again. I can only hope I have a similar experience with #2.
The most important thing I learned from my birthing class instructor when I had L'il Maj (#1)- "The pain won't last forever - at some point it WILL come to an end." I remember it still, lol. DS hurt, but nothing like DD(#2) - She was 10lbs. 10 oz. though. Her big ?ss was gonna hurt no matter what, lol.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
If fisting was guaranteed to prevent vaganus, I'd give it a try.
But I've heard no such scientific claims.
Is childbirth pleasant? No, I wouldn't say that (until I got an epidural, then I slept). I was terrified the whole time I was pregnant. When it was over (I had an emergency c-section after 20 hours of labor, something else I was afraid about but it wasn't bad at all), I look back and think it really wasn't that bad. As my mother kept telling me (after strangers, friends, acquaintences told me horror stories about labor) - "if it was really that bad, no one would ever have siblings." She was right.
The tearing was pretty awful (I tore badly--no episiotomy but I had a LOT of stitches)
And having fun w/ infections in the tear afterwards wasn't fun either (although, I had doctors orders to, whenever possible) NOT WEAR PANTS for 2 weeks post surgery. FWIW :-P)
But, honestly...it's not bad enough to make me not want a 2nd kid.