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Daycare questions
Felix has had the same nanny/babysitter since he was about three months old. Lately, we're just starting to feel like she's not doing the best job. For example, Ryan has come home on several occasions and Fe has been crying in his crib and she was at the table working (she's a photographer, too). She'd look up, surprised, and say "oh he just started crying." But it's felt off to Ryan. She is not very active at all, and isn't high energy. We have a awesome park right down the street, but she never brings Felix to it, they always just play inside even though I've suggested to get outside all the time. She also is pretty snarky to Ry and he just doesn't love her. But, Felix really seems to like her.
We're mulling over our options and wonder if we should look for someone with a little more "spunk" who can get him more active and imaginative. We could have her be full time now, and maybe move to 2 days a week next year so he can do part time preschool.
Or, we could put him in a daycare, which would be a bit more money (the only decent one is pretty expensive).
Or, we could keep ours and put Felix in full time preschool next year.
Would it be too much of a transition to do daycare for the rest of this year and begin preschool in Sept?
Here's when I wish I was a stay at home momma!
Re: Daycare questions
Also meant to ask... those who have kiddos in daycare, what do you find to be the pros and cons?
Thanks!
Apparently we are serial DCP changers, so this may be long.....
We had some of the same concerns with our first DCP. She was a in-home provider who watched about 3-4 kids. It was great when Eli was an infant- she is very caring, kind and truly loved him. However, as he got older (around age 1.5) and his needs changed it just didn't seem like the right fit anymore. She didn't take the kids outside or do organized activites and Eli wasn't connecting with the other kids. He just wanted to be more active and involved and he wasn't getting it there. We had other concerns too (like not changing his diaper often enough), which really pushed us over the edge to switch.
Our second DCP was also in home, but more active, organized and with kids his age. Eli had lots of fun there, but still didn't seem totally content and we had some concerns about the space and supervision taking place (ie- another kid threw a handful of woodchips at Eli when I was picking him up one day and the DCP's response was not what I would have hoped for.) Again, there were other factors that led us to leave too, mainly that we wanted him in a daycare/preschool in our town so he could meet kids he'd go to school with.
Our current (and final!) DCP is a larger daycare/preschool (about 20 kids w/ 3 teachers.) We LOVE it and could not be more happy. They really emphasize the values that are important to us and it is so well run. It could also have to do with his age and developmental level, but Eli is so happy there and constantly says he loves his school and runs right in the door each morning. He is learning so much and developing skills and habits that I know will be an asset when he goes to school.
Eli does only go to daycare 2-3 days a week due to DH's work schedule and it's really perfect for us. Other than the cost I can't really think of a con. Like I said above, the pros for us are the information and social skills he is learning there. We can certainly teach those things at home as well, but I think there is something to be said for being in a group environment, learning to follow group rules, how to interact with peers, etc. Sorry for my rambling! I hope this helps somehow and good luck with your decision!
I am actually going to be putting my boys in daycare within the next few weeks. My mother is currently the one who is watching them, so I have no experience in any daycare at this point.
I thought I would share why we chose to put the boys in daycare. My mother is a great provider, however we feel that they need more.
They will go 2 days a week (due to financial reasons as well as DH's work schedule) at a center.
They will get the interaction that they need with other children. Currently they only know each other, and honestly are not the best behaved when they are around other children. This will teach them great social skills.
The daycare we are 90% sure we are choosing, (which most should teach these things), will work on manners, abc's, numbers, etc.
Double bonus for me is this daycare already has 3 sets of twins so they are very familiar with them.
Good luck on whatever you decide to do.
It's totally NOT okay for her to ignore Felix's crying....or for her to never take him outside if you'd mentioned where she could go. You're paying her, so her photography shouldn't come before Felix. Even if she's not too spunky, she needs to be for Felix, as that's what she's hired to be. If you think it's worth one more shot, I might have a talk with her about expectations and schedule. Maybe you could say that Felix is getting older and you'd like to add more structure to his day. You could even say you wanted to chat with her so you're doing the same thing on the weekend. Then, maybe sit down and write out when he's going to the park and what other activities you'd like her to do (maybe specific fine motor stuff like coloring with crayons or library story time). Actually DH and I just sat down and did this ourselves (we're opposite shifts and don't have daycare)....and our meeting resulted in DH taking outside to play daily and he takes him to library story and I bring him to swimming and toddler time.The fact of the matter is things do need to change as kids get older, as they have different needs. So, I'd say that's a good way to go about the confrontation. And I would add that she is NOT to let Felix cry for any reason without comforting him immediately and that's non negotiable. If she's not willing to flex, then it's definitely not a good fit.
Or, if you feel in your heart that salvaging the relationship isn't what's right for you guys and Felix, go with your intuition. You guys need to both be comfort with who's taking care of your baby. Most kids transition well, so changing it up would likely be fine (my kid not included though....he HATES change).
And I hear you about wishing you were SAHM some days. I wish this every.single.day. Even though I do enjoy my job, I still have a hard time leaving (and I'm only leaving him with DH). I'm pathetic.
Oh, and one more thing, to load your picture, you can go to tinypic.com, upload your choice (with the Email size option), copy and paste the code right into the message box. Would love to see Felix in his costume!
Good luck!
Thanks for all the responses! We have pretty much decided to bring Felix to preschool when he turns 2, and it seems like more interaction with kids has been beneficial for your kiddos.
We have talked to our sitter a few times about staying on track with us, but sometimes she just decides to do her own thing. I think its more of a gut feeling, but she just doesn't seem that interested in playing with Felix -- she seems to really like him; I know she cares for him, but she just isn't the type of sitter to be energetic and really playful, which he is beginning to need now that he's mobile.
Maybe once he moves to one afternoon nap she would do more in the morning with him, but I'm just not sure... and she doesn't seem to pay much attention to the details like when he napped, for how long etc. But, like I said, she does care about him. I feel awful thinking of dropping her, but I also wonder if a better fit is out there somewhere.