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ENRAGED!!!
I am so angry right now I can't even think straight and I have to tell someone.
SO:
Backstory:
A while back, the recruiter that found Ben for this current company had said something to Ben about "finding me a job". He sent me an e-mail on Linked In with this ridiculously long list of all the things I need to do in order for him to help me. (Add 10+ connections a day, develop a "subject matter expertise", make a slide show of something, add these apps, etc..) I did what I could- got recommendations, added connections I knew, and filled out my profile, and left it at that. I never asked him to help me, and I really don't feel like the only way I'll ever get a job is to wh0re out a social networking site.
So apparently he was talking to DH's boss and telling him that I hadn't done all the things he asked, so I must not really want a job and am lazy.
FF to yesterday, boss man says to DH that I am lazy, lack any work ethic, will never get a job, don't try hard enough, rely only on Ben for income, etc... He also said that yesterday he had a meeting with someone in my field and that they were hiring in their lab and asked him if he knew anyone looking, and he didn't mention my name because "he knew it would come back to bite him in the a$$ because I lack any and all motivation." And to top it off, apparently because of my issues with being a worthless, lazy, freeloader, we have marital problems.
So let me just say that I have been sending out applications left and right, I work 45-50 hours/ week at my current job, come in whenever and wherever they need me, do the work of senior management, and have been told by senior management and district staff that I am "awesome and work really hard." I get e-mails from my general manager on the regular saying "thanks for all the hard work. Things wouldn't be the same without you." Basically, even though my job is in retail, I bust my a$$ day in and out. It's not my favorite job, but I am of the mind set that whatever you do, do it well.
I AM SO P!SSED! WHERE THE HELL DOES HE GET OFF SAYING ANY OF THESE THINGS ABOUT ME. AND TO MY HUSBAND, NONE THE LESS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM, AND THE THINGS HE ARE SAYING ARE NOT EVEN TRUE. I am enraged. Fuming. Words cannot begin to describe how upset I am about this thing. What. The. Hell.
Re: ENRAGED!!!
Did you only sign up for linked in because of this recruiter? Does your husband need his connection for future job opportunities?
Delete your connection to this guy on linked In - you probably don't want people to associate you with him if he acts like that.
Have you ever dealt with this recruiter outside of online interaction? Did you solicit his help at all? Because it sounds like no for both, and if that's the case I'd send a strongly worded letter to this guy's boss letting him know how unprofessional he's being. He shouldn't be assessing your worth based on interaction on one website and hurting your chances at future opportunities because of that.
I'd show him how diligent you can be and demand an apology or him being removed from the position.
Kate's Recipe Box || Relatively Bookish
The recruiter said to Ben's boss that he guesses I don't want a job because I didn't do all of the things that he asked, but it was Ben's boss (the one who just gave him a promotion) that said all those things to Ben. The recruiter, I am pissed at for talking to Ben's boss at all about me, but really, I could care less about him. And I have met him once for 5 minutes, never asked for his help, and he adores Ben.
Ben's immediate boss, the owner of the company, was the one who made those assertions about me. And then said, "don't you dare tell your wife". Which, of course, he did, because he was upset about it too. This whole situation sucks. :-/
That is awful. It seems to be the week for people to overstep their bounds and make ridiculous and untruthful remarks about someone else's character and job ethic.
I hope you get a great job in your field and Ben's boss feels like an idiot.
Honestly, a cease and desist, "I will speak to a lawyer if this continues" letter to the recruiter would be my first action. He is spreading lies about you and he should not be disclosing anything about you, good or bad, to third-parties since you did not request him to go out recruiting for you. Shake him up. If you can make reviews on him somewhere, I would.
Is there a co-owner or another boss for Ben that he could go to about this situation? Even if not, he HAS to tell the boss that those comments are untrue, inappropriate and unprofessional. He can leave it at that if wants to, but he can't just let it go. This is not something that had anything to do with Ben's employment or the company Ben works for, so his boss could not require him not to tell you.
What Cole said!
I agree.
With his boss, I think something along the lines of, "I am your employee, my wife is not. If you have an issue with my professional performance I would be happy to discuss it, but I am uncomfortable with you discussing your thoughts on my wife and her work ethic. My marriage and personal life do not affect my work, therefore they are not something I feel the need to discuss in my workplace."
I would be concerned as to WHY his boss feels the need to talk about you. A) it's fricken weird, b) it's inappropriate, and c) if he is spreading lies about you to potential employers it is defamation of character.
As for the recruiter, if he is local, I would contact his boss directly and sit down with him and put an end to it all. I think it's weird that he is asking you to be a Linked in wh*re and discussing that you are not a good work candidate because you aren't doing the social media crap. What he's asking you to do with Linked in also seems a little off for me-it sounds like he's not actually looking for a job for you, but just stringing you along. I hope you're not paying him!