June 2008 Weddings
trickeytricky
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DH Vent/I'm depressed not pissed.
I admit, I'm moody but DH is really bothering me on an entirely different level lately. Especially after last weeks marriage challenge where I did nothing but nice things for him.
Among other things, this really got to me. Yesterday Mike kept telling me that he and BIL were having a conversation abou their wives anal OCD habits and how this conversation was soooo "funny". We were supposed to go to BIL's house but SIL was complaining about what a mess it still is (they just moved). Which I understand. We got a new couch and I was rearranging furniture and cleaning - so it made sense for them to "vent" about us.
Well I read this text converstation they had and BIL is perfectly "normal" but it's my DH that's saying rude, mean things about me. Mike acted as if he and his brother were both contributing, but it was all Mike.
It really hurts my feelings to know that he talks to his brother about me this way. I know tone doesn't come across in text messages so I could be reading it wrong, but so could his brother.
He just really made me feel like he doesn't appreciate anything I do for him. He also showed no respect or alliance for me.
FWIW, I wasn't snooping when I read. I told DH I was going to, and he didn't stop me. Azzhat.
If you made it this far I
you.
Among other things, this really got to me. Yesterday Mike kept telling me that he and BIL were having a conversation abou their wives anal OCD habits and how this conversation was soooo "funny". We were supposed to go to BIL's house but SIL was complaining about what a mess it still is (they just moved). Which I understand. We got a new couch and I was rearranging furniture and cleaning - so it made sense for them to "vent" about us.
Well I read this text converstation they had and BIL is perfectly "normal" but it's my DH that's saying rude, mean things about me. Mike acted as if he and his brother were both contributing, but it was all Mike.
It really hurts my feelings to know that he talks to his brother about me this way. I know tone doesn't come across in text messages so I could be reading it wrong, but so could his brother.
He just really made me feel like he doesn't appreciate anything I do for him. He also showed no respect or alliance for me.
FWIW, I wasn't snooping when I read. I told DH I was going to, and he didn't stop me. Azzhat.
If you made it this far I
you.
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Re: DH Vent/I'm depressed not pissed.
I'm sorry.
I'd probably be really upset too. I've often wondered what DH says about me to other people because he sometimes tells me what his coworkers say about their wives/girlfriends. I wonder sometimes if he exaggerates when he complains about me just to be funny and contribute to the conversation. Not that it makes it ok, but it just seems to me like that's what a lot of guys do.
Blog
16 read! my read shelf:
ALL of this. I kept thinking about this all last week...I saw a few articles on MSN (directed to women) on how to keep your marriage going and keeping the spark in your relationship. Why isn't that burden equally on the husband's shoulders? It darn well should be.
My ranting aside, I am very sorry your husband said that stuff. Even said in jest, it is very hurtful. Have you said anything to him about it? I know I wouldn't have been able to hold back..."Hey butthead, after all I did for you last week, I've been trying really hard lately to make you happy...and you say this?!?" Not so he can explain it away either...I would demand an apology. You're a tough chick too, I know you can!
That really sucks.
I think that my response would be to wait until I'm not so upset and talk to him about it. First I would ask if he really thinks those things or if he just thought he was being funny. Then I would tell him how it hurt my feelings, even if he was "only being funny" because BIL might not know that he was joking.
While that would be my approach, I have no idea if it would be the "right" approach.
Sorry you're having a crappy day!
Sorry, Trickey! Reminds me of men and their egos when they get together and try to "one-up" each other. But you're right... you shouldn't be the punch line of his jokes.
I would talk to him for sure.
Life of mrsjanks
I didn't say anything at first, I was too hurt. But late yesterday evening I let the F bomb drop and then proceeded to tell him how I really felt, which made me a much happier person.
One of those, you want to complain to your brother, I'll give you something to really complain about moments.
Then we had make-up sex this morning and talked about my feelings. Until next time ...