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Best.Email.Ever. Thanksgiving related.....LONG
I soooo want to attend this woman's Thanksgiving, just so I can do it wrong and watch her head explode! Link is here, but I have c&p's below for your reading pleasure!
From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.
Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.
All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.
HJB?Dinner wine
The Mike B Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don?t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don?t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.
The Bob B Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).
The Lisa B Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d?ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).
The Michelle B Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel ? please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife
The June D Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay
The Amy M Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.
Looking forward to the 28th!!
Marney
And once you have made it through all of that, in case you were wondering what a "regulation size" serving dish is, you can buy one at the link below! Scroll to the bottom....
Re: Best.Email.Ever. Thanksgiving related.....LONG
Hilarious!!!
Dx: PCOS and short luteal phase
18 cycles (3 with our RE) - Metformin + Clomid + HCG booster did the trick!
BFP #1 6/22/09 EDD: 3/2/10 DS born: 3/8/10
TTC #2 since Dec 2011
BFP #2 7/8/12 EDD: 3/18/12 M/C @ 9w1d: 8/16/12
#1 Emily is ADORABLE!!!
#2 I needed that this morning. Thanks for the giggle!
If she is such a control freak, why isn't she making the whole goddamn dinner? B!tch.
ETA: Also, why is the Michelle Bobble family assigned to bring a pie knife w/ no pie when the Amy Misto family is bringing the pie but no knife? That is pretty stupid.
I'd bet Michelle has a nicer pie knife than Amy?
this craks me up... 2 years ago I asked by brother if he wanted to contribute (since he's now a grown a** man) this is what he brought. That's my dish. Not sure if it's regulation size.
that pic is awesome brandi! LOL!
What a control freak that lady is?!?!? If she were in my family, we'd have words.
I love that it even has a garnish!
You ruined my already lame joke. I was going to ask why my family got called out. You know, Michelleb family... hardee har har...
This lady has problems.
I hope the later awkward family photo was of her empty thanksgiving table except for her perplexed family and a table of regulation sized trivets.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
She lost me at "case of Coors light"; zero credibility after that.
Also, most of her suggested dishes sound gross. Turnips and mashed squash?! I think I'd have to fake a violent illness every T-day if I were related to this woman.
My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Chart
Also, Emily is so adorable!
And, those awkward family photos are a scream!
Thank you
That website is hilarious!
Oh my.
I love it. I don't know if I've ever seen a regulation sized serving casserole dish with a lid and spoon. lol!
This one is my absolute favorite! http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2011/09/20/behind-the-awkwardness-rope-burn/
Dads are so funny.
Click it if you can't say it!