Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Help!
My FI and I have been engaged for almost 6 months now and together for over 3 years and I am NEVER in the mood! What do I do? It's like one day my desire to just turned off... idk what happened or what to do... We only have sex like one to three times a month and that is just unacceptable when I think about it but I never seem to be in the mood...HELP!!
Re: Help!
I need more information.
Was it always like this?
Are you under lot of stress?
Does he initate sex and you turn him down?
Elaborate more....
No when we first got together I was always ready to go and the longer we're together the "lazier" I seem to have gotten in the bedroom. I'm planning my own wedding 98% completely alone and on top of planning a baby shower for my future sister-in-law (she's due in Feb) along with starting a new school in Jan, moving next month, and trying to find a new job because I'm getting literally one hour a week at work.
So, yes, you could say I am stressed. I'm hoping that's all it is, but dang I'm tired of being a lame FI! I want to be an awesome FI & Wife!
I've been with my husband for a almost 5 years before we got married in 2010. The first two years, we were going at it a LOT. We craved it...we'd skip meals, sleep, etc just to have sex.
Then all that completely slowed down when I got really stressed out during my senior year in college. Lot of bad things happened that year as far as a family member passing away, witnessing a mass murder, struggling to graduate, etc. that my sexual desire just went downhill. I was stressed and depressed. We went from having sex 4-6 times a week to maybe once a week for that entire year.
Our sex life improved tremendously after I graduated from college, got an amazing job and moved into a beautiful condo.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Be sure to relax and take time to yourself. Go for a massage if you need it. And don't stress about being a "lame" FI. If your FI really loves you, he'd still marry you. I'm sure he understands...my husband did when I went through that stage.
Anything can be at hand --- maybe it's stress, maybe it's your BCP (if you're taking an oral BCP, get your doc to switch pills or try a barrier, non hormonal method like a diaphragm or diaphragm/condom).
Maybe you're in a bad sexual rut --- that's my guess.
What I suggest: you and your FI try date nights -- or when he's in the shower, you hop in and let nature take its course.
Or invite him in when you're taking a shower.
Find a way to bring spontanaety back into your relationship -- find a way to "get away" and relax, even if you and he have a "lock in" weekend at your place. Shut the phones off and just spend the weekend by yourselves.:)
All of the above are why - you are WAY busy and you need to prioritize sex more. Meaning, cut something out you don't care about so you have time and energy for sex. Reduce the stress and you'll find yourself ready to go again when you are relaxed.