August 2010 Weddings
Do the creep.
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Flirting
Alright, here's a question for you all that's a two-parter:
1) What do you consider flirting? Ex: do you consider cute back-and-forth banter to be flirting or does flirting involve innuendos and the like?
2) Flirting while in a relationship/married? Yay or nay?
Read an article on this a few days ago and I thought it was pretty interesting that people seemed pretty split down the middle with the 2 questions above.
What says you August '10?
Do the creep.
Re: Flirting
Hmmm.
I suppose cute back and forth banter is a type of flirting, (verbal sparring, being playful, or joking aorund, etc) and I suppose that's a fairly natural style of convo between men and women at times.
I don't necessarily talk like that with every male I encounter; actually if I think about it, it would be more with friends, and acquaintances of both mine and DH's. Same with him. I don't even think it's even conscious on anyone's parts either, and it's not all the time; I think just sometimes you have a certain rapport with certain people. And I guess that could be viewed as flirting, but I guess when you get down to it, it's being familiar, IMO.
I think that when you get into innuendos, and suggestive dialogue (the kind of stuff that implies actions) that to me is when it becomes entirely 100% inappropriate, and not really even flirting. Something that becomes overtly sexual and goes past familiarity and friendly banter is not acceptable to me for a married person, or someone in a serious relationship. It crosses a line for me, and becomes one of the first steps to cheating, I've witnessed. (Other people's relationships over the years, not mine thank goodness)
On some level, I suppose any flirting has sexual motivations, at the biological level, (caveman must mate...grrrr) but the kind that is harmless isn't done with any level of intent or awareness. Again, I think the "ok" flirting is more like a familiarity, when it shows up among friends and such. I guess I wouldn't even classify it as flirting even, I'm realizing.
But for the sake of your question, and this argument...
To sum up: Harmless familial banter that is playful, but occasional, and means nothing sexually=OK, Heaving flirtation with implied sexual attraction, encounters, etc=Not so much. Grounds for a HUGE fight, and serious repercussions.
I agree branz.
I guess I unfortunately only considered playful back-and-forth as flirting. But harmless at the same time. It was a new concept to me that some people consider flirting to be telling another person you want to 'get a room' with them. Obviously inappropriate. And (sadly???) that's something that's never been said to me by a stranger.
I read this article at an interesting time, since I just started a new job in retail. I love love all my new coworkers and it's already pretty close-knit. Most of them are college age and younger, and there are some that are 40 and over so at 24 I'm considered one of the go-betweens. A lot of the guys I work with are fresh-faced and just out of high school and completely adorable. They're in that 'girls girls girls' stage. Me and another gal my age (she has a serious bf) were talking about what flirts these guys were, but it didn't bother either of us because it was more playful type of flirting and there is nothing sexual about it whatsoever. Obviously there's no love interest there because come on, these guys are teenagers and I'm a good 6-7 years older and married. Me and this other girl think it's harmless.
I was talking with DH about it and we both laughed that the rule should be for women: you can harmlessly flirt with a guy who's 5 years or more younger than you or a man that's at least 40 years older. DH said for men it's a bit different. The woman has to be at least 5 years old for it to be acceptable to flirt with her.
But of course we both agree that blatant sexual talk is a no-no. And why would anyone do that with someone other than their partner anyway???
I heard a good rule of thumb was 'If you would be embarrassed for your husband/wife to hear the conversation, you're in bad territory."
Do the creep.
I agree with this "If you would be embarrassed for your husband/wife to hear the conversation, you're in bad territory." But kind of turn it into this "If you wouldn't want your Husband and Wife to hear the conversation, you're in bad territory."
Flirting is fine, keeps life spicy, and can cheer up an otherwise dull day, the electrician from my work and I had a good flirty joke the other day, the whole office was there, it was a bit of a laugh.
But, if you wouldn't want your Husband to hear what you were saying, or wouldn't own up to actually having a Husband, then perhaps it is because it has gone past the joking stage and into something that would signal intent.
I agree with Kathiiy - if you wouldn't want your partner to hear your conversation, you're in the bad terrirtory.
I like complimenting people - I feel like a lot of people do things in their daily life that they don't think others will notice, and it's nice to hear a compliment from time to time. DH calls me a cheeseball and he knows that's how I am. Some people may think that's flirting, especially if I am complimenting a male friend.
Very rarely, I will flirt with a client - a sales trainer told me that my accent sounds very attractive, and that I may be more successful selling to men because they would be attracted to me. Though not fully appropriate, I sort of agree with this statement. My male clients always pick up my calls and buy from me. Females, not so much
Is it flirting to be sweet and chatty with a client who I know is attracted to my accent? Maybe, but I know this is the one occassion my DH does not mind me doing it - haha.
My Blog