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My BF was on thin ice! (long)
TG (Top Gun is BF's identifier onTN) almost didn't survive this weekend...
He had friends coming into town and we were all going out. My parents were going to take C (DD) for the night. I was told the friends were not going to be here until 6pm. I also was told they were going to meet at TG's apt. So I spent all day with C. Playing, going to the park etc. I told TG my parents were taking C at 4pm and I would spend 1.5 hours cleaning up and getting ready to go out. He calls me at 3:45 and tells me that they are now meeting at my Apt... At 4:30!!!
I told him on the phone that I felt like crying because my house was a mess and I was going to be so embarrassed. I let him know I was pretty pissed. I hung up and called my mom. She came over and helped me speed clean for 35 mins. The people got here at 4:25, just as I was putting away the vacuum.
I don't think guys understand the difference between "family clean" and "company/guest clean". 45 min warning not enough time to get the house ready for guest, ESPECIALLY when I let the child run free all afternoon with the thought I would have 2 hours to clean... never thinking GUESTs were coming to my apartment!
Some of it was out of his control because they came early without much notice, but he should have told me that they decided to meet at my place when he found out 3 hours earlier!
This is very out of the norm for TG, had he not been working I know he would have been there to help me get ready. I got the royal treatment for the rest of the weekend because he was thankful that I was such a good hostess to his friends and to make up for the bad communication... I guess I will keep him around! lol
Re: My BF was on thin ice! (long)
So why on earth didn't you say "I'm sorry, but I can't have people over. We'll have to stick to the original plan"?
I would have had the same reaction that you did. Schedules change, but yes, he should have told you as soon as he found out and not wait 3 hours. That would create undue stress that could have been avoided.
Did you have fun on your night out on the town?
He got stuck at work and I couldn't get to his apt to meet them. His friends got here early and I made it work. I was peeved and rushed, but not super upset. I talked to him about making sure in the future he gave as much notice as possible.
We had a great time.
That is just it. I am lax on my cleaning most of the time. I keep my house tidy during the week and deep clean on the weekend. I do this so I can spend more time with DD... but getting the apartment "guest clean" takes me about 2 hours usually AND TG is usually there helping me.
In the end I got my apartment clean in record time and I may start a speed cleaning business lol
OK after reading this you should have told him NO. You have a daughter and this was not the original plan. His friends are big boys and could have waited at a bar or somewhere else while you finished cleaning and had someone come pick up your daughter. Stand up for yourself. He clearly put his friends' needs before your own and I will say it again, they are big boys and could have waited somewhere else. Was it nice of you to do all this? Sure but I will bet money that this situation will happen again and you and your mom will be the one stressing to the max to accomodate these guys again.
I get what you are saying. I think the biggest thing was he didn't know I would feel this way. His friends are hardly ever in town (it was a engaged couple) and to TG my apartment didn't need to be spic and span. My mom only came over 15 mins early and it is because TG has gone way out of his way to help her and me on several occasions. She was happy to help him this once.
In the future it will not go down this way. The other times they have visited he has been there helping me. If it was a pattern of behavior I would be more concerned.
I understand but you're finding all sorts of excuses. The point is that it brought you almost to tears and it was very stressful. Having this engaged couple wait at the mall, bar or wherever was totally fine. Don't be afraid to say no. You'd be surprised at how people understand and don't really mind either way.
I was like that before. I would put myself in stressful situations to please people. I thought if I didn't do it, people would think I was a biatch or mean or unpleasant. Now, to my huge surprise, I politely say no if it a situation makes me feel unconfortable and people are respecting me more. I had a hard time believing it but it feels amazing. My life is more simple and and people respect me. Win-win.