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Enough to change Therapists?
I started seeing a Therapist recently. We have only met 10x or less. She seems very knowledgable in her field & gives helpful advice, but, she seems to be a little "scatter-brained" at times. It is the "norm" for me to wait for my appt with her for 30-40 min. One time, she came out of her office from a session with a patient and looked at me all confused like, "Why are you here?" and realized that she had "forgotten" she scheduled me. Since I was already there, waiting, she made it work & we had our session.
This past week, she had to cancel our session due to "security updates" in the building she rents her office space from. Ok, fine. We decided to reschedule for this past weekend. I showed up and waited an HOUR for her. I could hear movement in her office & her sign "in a session, be right with you" was on her door. Finally, I just left. I figured an hour was more than enough time to wait.
I emailed her explaining how I waited on her for an hour & asked if there was a mixup with our appointment. I get a response email from her a couple hours later saying that she's so sorry & she was out-of-town and had to reschedule our meeting. I assume that maybe another therapist uses her office when she's not there?
She forwarded me "the email that I never got" and said she had tried to contact me. Then, in her email she says she can meet with me on Sunday (yesterday) if I am free. I emailed her back choosing one of the times she had given me and asked her for a confirmation email or phone call just so I know we're all set. No confirmation email or phone call from her end Saturday evening.
Sunday rolls around and no email or phone call. The appointment time that I had chosen was for 6:15pm and I had called her 2x throughout the day. I left her 2 voicemails. No response.
I am all about giving people chances, but I hate the run around. I have to chase a lot of people in my life - my boss, my family, DH's family, etc. so the last person that I want to do have to do that with is my therapist. How frustrating.
Is it time to switch? This is my 1st therapist in over 10 years, but I don't remember other therapists ever being this poor with details or time management.
Re: Enough to change Therapists?
Good lord. She'd have lost me when I had to wait an hour and then she never showed. I don't care how good she is, this is bullshitt.
If you feel that she is not meeting your needs its time to look for another one.
She obviously is not very organized and is not there for you when you need her. I would start looking for another one if I were you.
It sounds to me like she needs a therapist. Something's going on with her.
It's definitely time to switch.
I agree, SueSue.
She "claims" to have emailed me with the cancellation. But, mine & DH's thoughts were:
1.- Why wouldn't she call to cancel/reschedule? Email just seems messy...
2.- Because I never received the "mysterious cancellation email", I never had the chance to respond. Don't you think one would follow-up? Like, "Hi, did you ever get my email about cancelling our appt - just want to make sure...when is a good time for you to reschedule?" kinda thing.
I also sent her another email last night...this one was kind of me saying like, "Obviously we couldn't connect this weekend - what day this week is good with you?" type of email.
Well, now I am regretting I did that. I think I am pretty much done with this Therapist. I still haven't received a response from her (surprise surprise!), but if/when I do - what should I respond?
Is a simple, "Thank you but I won't be needing your services" Ok? Or should I just not respond at all & she will most likely get the hint?
As a clinical psychologist (and human being), I would never dream of treating a client this way. It's totally unacceptable and completely disrespectful of your time.
Get the hell out of there, but not before informing her of why you are leaving. Clearly, she needs to hear it.
Good luck finding someone who meets your needs!
Thank you, Tucci!
This helps A LOT in justifying my decision. From the moment I first met her, something was always a little "off" with her and although her advice has always seemed pretty intuitive, she does have a "messy" way about her. She's hard to keep up with, LOL. Always jumping from one thought to the next!
Find another therapist.
Not a therapist, but I quit seeing my hairdresser when she constantly kept me waiting. And I switched to someone who was in the same salon with her, only she managed to keep her appointments. I'm a very laid back person, but it reached a point where it was rediculous.
I think for some people having a disorganized therapist might be ok, but obviously it aggrivates you, and you need a good fit for YOU.
It's definitely time to switch therapists. She is there to help you, not for you to be her receptionist!
Sometimes finding the right fit with a therapist can take a few tries. Don't let her unprofessionalism discourage you from seeking therapy with someone else. Once you find a good one, it will be worth it!
Thank you for this, Khloe.
I think for this reason alone is why I kept giving my therapist 2nd chances. You unload so much onto them & thinking of finding a different person to start over with and to go through that pain all over again with just seems defeating.
But, you're right - I just have to keep searching & hopefully, it will all work out in the end.