Dallas-Fort Worth Nesties
lesalyric
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Clicky Poll! Childbirth!
The discussion in the daily thread made me wonder...
[Poll]
Answer whether you plan to be a momma or are already a momma. Discuss if you'd like. Judgement free zone please, to each their own!
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Re: Clicky Poll! Childbirth!
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Both of my labors were induced, so I have no idea what it feels like to have your water break and spontaneously go into labor. I've heard from people who've had both induced and "regular" birth stories say that inducing is much harder, but I don't have anything to compare it to.
With Jack, there were complications and I was VERY glad of the epidural. With Dot (some of you might know this from the birth story I blogged), I'd planned to have an epidural but we waited too long. So I got to pay for the epidural, but it didn't have time to work. Unplanned med-free delivery.
I will say that while it's not something I'd want to do every year on my birthday for fun or anything like that, it DOES make me feel like a rock star to have birthed that baby with no pain meds. I don't think it's wrong of people to get them... at all! But for me, it was just really empowering to feel it and know I was strong enough to work through it. I've never felt more powerful in my life than when I was in labor.
aaaaand, that's about all the Earth Mother I've got in me today. Gotta make a joke about something dirty to balance it out.
~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP! Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64 Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
I get major flames on the bump for even mentioning this but the majority of women in my family have had planned c-sections ( some elective and some not) and mostly encouraged me to do also request an elective c-section.
I have gone back and forth MANY times on what I want to do,but with 18 days to go, my current plan is to have a medicated vaginal birth.. I have to tell you,, it's not just an easy meds or no meds answer.. You have to be really carefully about the timing of when to get an epidural and whether or not to take Pitocin, etc. because ultimately it can create issues with the birth and lead to a c-section anyway because it can put the baby in distress.
My understanding is that you want to try to labor on your own until you are about 5cm dilated and then get an epidural AND then take as little Pitocin as possible.
For those that are curious, an epidural helps with pain but can slow down labor so they kick start the contractions again with Pitocin ( but a lot of people are against Pitocin for the possible distress it can put on the baby).
My Ovulation Chart
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I don't understand the whole "C-sections are wrong" argument myself. I was a c-section because my mom had been in labor for 16 hours and never fully dilated and the doctors were afraid that I would be in distress Since she didn't fully dilate with me, they took my brother the same way because they didn't think that she'd fully dilate with him either. At the time he was born, there was another lady there who had been in labor for more than 24 hours and they were just letting her go.
I remember being called a freak in high school when we were reading "Julius Caesar" and they were speaking of a curse on him because he was ripped from his mother's womb. I think it is sometimes necessary and, while the med-free birth would not be for me (I'm not the Earth Mother type), I would not judge a woman who chose that for herself.
Kathy - no backlash from me. I honestly think anyone that gives birth is amazing, whether it's vaginal, drugs, no drugs, c-section, upside down, inside out, etc.
If I ever have kids, I will have the child the way that works best for me and my baby and everyone else can get over it.
And to go further on my rant... I'm so tired of women criticizing other women about breast feeding, formula, soy milk, disposable diapers, cloth diapers, etc, etc, etc. Leave each other alone. Unless the mother is abusing her child, then myob!!
End rant.
I definitely prefer not to have a C-section if at all possible, though I can see the benefit of having it scheduled. I've had major abdominal surgery before, and can't imagine going through the recovery while trying to care for a newborn. I would prefer to go into labor on my own and have an epidural as soon as possible. However, I know that there are as many scenarios as there are births, obviously I will do whatever is best for the health of the baby and myself.
My SIL was induced for her first on a Monday night, and had the baby Wednesday morning. With the twins, she went into labor on her own (at 2 in the morning the day she was scheduled to be induced), then had the babies after about 5 hours of labor, and she had the epidural as soon as she could. I've heard before that pitocin can slow down labor, and her story seems to support that.
I'd prefer NOT to have a c-section. But i have nothing against women who either prefer to do it...or have to. DH was a CS baby. As was his sister. I've always been worried about having to have one...because i'm so small. But there are alot of women who are my size or smaller that can pop a baby out just fine
not to mention my mother who has/had the same frame/build as me popped my big headed brother out when she was 17. So i'm hoping with my genes and what not - i can do it the "natural" way with a nice bit of drugs
SIL has an interesting approach. She wants to have her baby at home - in her bathtub with a nurse and no drugs... I kid you not. Although this is a little weird to me...more power to her! Like previously stated. to each their own.
The whole point of Pitocin is actually to kick-start contractions, and I've never heard of it actually slowing anyone down. I HAVE heard though that some people's bodies just aren't ready, and any/all attempts at inducing labor fail... so maybe that gets mis-interpreted as Pitocin slowing things down? Just my estimating.
I'm 100% with Lacey regarding Mommy Wars. Unless the child is in developmental or emotional distress due to a negligent decision, I don't see how arguing could possibly help ANYONE. I make it a point to never offer child-rearing advice unless I'm directly asked. I think I've done a pretty great job with my two so far, but what works for me isn't going to work for everyone.
FWIW, I was a breast-feeding, disposable diaper, pro-occasional-spanking, and work-out-of-the-home Mommy, so i don't think anyone's asking my opinion anyway.
With the exception of successful breast-feeding, a lot of the Granola Mommy platforms just didn't make sense for us.
Oh, that makes sense. I know pitocin is to start labor, but I'd heard that starting labor with pitocin can take longer than going naturally, so the way you worded it makes more sense than the way I did.
My water broke, while DH and I were sitting on the couch watching a Mavs game.. and I was eating Cheerios at 10 pm on a Tuesday night. Yeah, that was a crazy experience... and the good news is I didn't have to play the "am I in labor or not game" because at that point, it was obvious.
I went in and was at a 2. They started pitocin immediately, and it didn't slow my labor at all (I don't think I've ever heard that either) they gave me demerol so that I could sleep, and it only made me feel crazy... around 6 am, I was at a 6 and they asked if I wanted the epidural... I got it, and at 2:50 pm, Cadence was born.
For me, I never wanted a c-section, but if it's in the best interest of my child, then I will do it. From what I've heard, they're harder to recover from, and I thought vaginal delivery wasn't bad at all to recover from... I felt like my stomach fell out of my butt (haha, TMI, but that's really what it felt like) for about 2 days, but was okay after that - no pain pills or anything.
With all of that said - bring on the drugs.
Bio
What Kathy is talking about is scheduling your labor like you schedule a pedicure. "Yes, I'll be there Wednesday at 4:00 for my delivery please." Then the doctor just comes in and does a C-section without the mother even trying to labor naturally. My boss' wife did it with both their boys.
I was induced with Pitocin and my baby ended up in distress and in the hospital for a week. And I was only induced because my water bag tore slightly but I didn't go into labor. Yes, I know there is a risk of infection but whatever--I'd never do it again. It might have nothing to do with it, like Chelsea said, but you could never convince me of that.
As for drugs--I hold no judgment against anyone that wants them. I know I wanted them. Immediately. BUT....
It can make the delivery harder, especially for a first time mom who has no idea how to push or anything. They finally turned mine off so I could bear down and that got the job done.
And finally, my epidural didn't work completely anyway. I had some weird sharp drill-like pain in my pelvis that no one could explain and that the epidural didn't take away. Boy howdy, it was tons of fun for 12.5 hours let me tell ya.
In sum, my take on it is, discuss everything with your doctor, use the drugs if you want, but know that they don't always work and they can definitely interfere with your delivery.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
No, I get that. But it really shouldn't matter if it's scheduled or not. If that's what Kathy (or any of us) choose then why should it matter to anyone else? My mom technically had a scheduled c-section the second time. People still called both us "weirdos". And, yes, some of my classmates actually said it was odd for my mother to undergo surgery to have a baby.
I can honestly say I have no idea how any of my friends/classmates came into the world nor does it/did it matter to me.
I think I'd like to try it naturally but will probably end up getting an epi. I would like to avoid a C but mainly for the pain/recovery reasons Anna mentioned above.
To each their own. No one is having that baby but you, therefore only your decision matters.
To me the scheduled (for convenience) C-sections are weird but I don't really care what anyone else does--it certainly doesn't change my opinion of anyone that does it. But from a medical standpoint, it does bother me that doctors do this--it just seems wrong somehow. My doctor did everything possible to keep me from having to have one, even though I was very close.
And Julie back then, the thinking was that if you had one C-section, you had to have one with every baby--so it makes sense that she would have "scheduled" her second one. That has changed now though.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
I had every intention of delivering my baby in a birthing center sans meds. My prenatal care was given by a team of 3 very experienced and capable midwives who consult with an OB anytime anything that isn't routine comes up. I only gained 18 lbs during pregnancy, and swam laps twice weekly through my 6th month. I still developed HELLP and had to give birth to a 33 weeker via emergency c-section. I absolutely felt robbed of the birth experience I had planned, but sometimes you do everything right and it still goes wrong.
Coming out the other side, I would not choose a c-section because recovery is really rough. I still feel it every time I sneeze 5 months after the fact. My scar is really low and really small, however. I didn't even have a baby at home to care for the first 2 and a half weeks; that's got to be difficult.
I'm sure any other children will be c-sections also. I'm fine with it I guess; it's just not what I wanted.
I'm for natural only because of this video we watched in nursing school. They showed one baby after the mom had gotten drugs and he just laid there, as expected for newborns. Then they showed a baby where the mom didn't get any drugs and it kinda crawled on her belly to latch to feed right after it was born. It was crazy to see the difference. I'm sure that's not always the case but I want to give my baby the best chance to do well.
I have no opinion of other people getting c-sections or delivering naturally. I know for myself that I would rather deliver naturally because it really is a b**** to recover from a c-section. But as everyone else has said, if my baby was in danger I would have no problem getting a c-section. The people scheduling their c-sections kinda bothers me because that's supposed to be the last resort for emergency situations, but that's their choice.
And some people really care about breastfeeding because the baby gets natural immunity from a ton of bad things from it's mom's milk for the first few days. Since babies can't get vaccines right away this is a big deal.
I'm sure you didn't mean anything bad by the statement, but I like to think that even though I had an epidural to help with the pain, I still gave my child the best chance to do well.
Bio
Yeah, but some people just can't breastfeed. They don't produce enough milk, or they get too many infections and the process becomes too unbearable.
I understand why women breastfeed, I'm just saying don't judge others if they choose not to. Especially if the reason they chose not to is unknown.
For me, I couldn't. I didn't produce enough and I had an infection that made it impossible. Cadence was on formula from like day 2, and she is one of the healthiest kids ever.
Literally. There have been great advancements in formula and it really does get children the nutrients they need... I would never say that formula is not as good as breat milk, especially going through what I did. To each their own!
Bio
I can't laugh right now because I have people here but I am dying of laughter inside. Yay for Angie saying what some people think!!!!
And re: breastfeeding, there are lots of reasons why you can't breastfeed which I get, I was just explaining why some people "make a big deal" about it. There's a lot of good reasons to do it which outweigh some of the excuses some people use (other than medical reasons). But again, I think it's your choice, I was just explaining why some people care. I hope that makes sense.
I guess I just need to stay off of here since I keep inadvertently offending people.
I used to work with a girl who didn't even attempt breastfeeding --not even once-- because her husband didn't want her to get ugly boobs. Now, I get that it's not easy, because mine are massive right now and it sucks, but my choice to nurse was totally judged by those women as off-the-wall. It goes both ways. Another girl in that office was made fun of for having her pump at work. I'm totally glad I changed jobs before my baby was born.
You're not offending me, I just wanted you to notice how it could have been taken. Luckily, I think we know eachother well enough to say "hey, maybe she didn't mean that in a judgey way", but no everyone knows us this well. Just food for thought!
Bio