Buying A Home
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need some honest advice

Ok,(sorry this is a tad bit long!)

My husband and i are at odds right now regarding the decision to look into a house to buy. We currently rent, and my aunt is a Realtor and  found a house that is on quick sale and a fantastic buy.

She claims she can get us in there with no money down and our mortgage (including taxes, insurance, principle and interest) would be cheaper than our rent is now. I brought up the idea to my husband and said i think its something we should at least entertain and really explore if its doable or not. He immediately said no, that we arent ready to even think about houses and really didnt want to talk about it at all.

I didnt want to push him right then and let him sit on it, but i do not think he will come around. Again, I dont want to over stretch ourselves, but talking my concerns with my aunt, she said contact a loan officer and then go from there. I really think it is something we can do without over stretching...but i want all the facts.

What do you all think? 

Re: need some honest advice

  • You need to talk to your husband before you talk to a LO.  Find out why he is hesitant.  Is it the finances?  Maybe he is not just thinking about the rent v. mortgage, but ALL the costs of home ownership--HOA fees, HO insurance, EF, maint. costs, higher utilities, lawn care, etc. etc. etc.

    Owning a home is great---but it is more expensive than renting (even if the mortgage is lower).  When your a/c goes out as a renter, you call the landlord.  When the a/c goes out as a homeowner, you call the repair people AND open up your wallet.

    I'm not trying to discourage you--we own 2 homes and wouldn't have it any other way.  But you do need to find out why he is hesitant and don't try to push him into something that he is not ok with. 

    One last thing--unless you are eligible for a VA loan--I really don't think there are 0% down loans available anymore.  FHA requires 3.5% down which is one of the lowest around.

    Crafts for Lily
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  • We are eligible for a VA loan...i agree i dont want to push him if he isnt comfortable, but its hard when he wont talk about it.

    I think he thinks we cant handle it financially, and i think we can. I have taken into account all the extra costs...but i dont think H wants to even consider or sit down and figure out if we can. I think it is something we need to do together...but again he doesnt even want to talk about it.

  • Do your homework, a 100% mortgage is a bad idea in this market, you have no equity and as prices drop you have negative equity.  Basically, you will be trapped in this house for a long time.  Just because it may be a cheaper option than your rental now, and affordable, doesn't mean it's necessarily a good move.
    1st Groom

    View our FOR SALE items
    http://tinyurl.com/3jjv7vy
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  • Do you have an adequate e-fund and money for closing costs?  Maybe that is why your DH is hesitant.
  • I would not do that.

    1) Mixing family & business is a bad idea.

    2) Both of you should want to buy a house before you even look into it.

    3) The loan situation sounds sketchy

    4) Paying less than rent is a foolish reason to buy.  You need to look long term/ bigger picture

    5) Why wouldn't you be looking for your own houses if you wanted to buy a house?  It sounds like your aunt is having trouble unloading this one.

    6) If you can't/haven't saved money for closing costs and down payments, you can't afford to buy a house.

     

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  • How is she getting you a house with absolutely no money down? 

    Were you guys even considering buying a home, or did she just come to you out of the blue and suggest that you buy this house?

    Buying a house is such a huge undertaking, you should really be on the same page about it.  Like decide to buy a house, then start looking; not buy a house because it's there when you weren't looking for a house to buy.

  • imagekarenttrouble:

    I would not do that.

    1) Mixing family & business is a bad idea.

    2) Both of you should want to buy a house before you even look into it.

    3) The loan situation sounds sketchy

    4) Paying less than rent is a foolish reason to buy.  You need to look long term/ bigger picture

    5) Why wouldn't you be looking for your own houses if you wanted to buy a house?  It sounds like your aunt is having trouble unloading this one.

    6) If you can't/haven't saved money for closing costs and down payments, you can't afford to buy a house.

     

    All of this, and especially #1. Your aunt would be seeing ALL of your financial information. I would not feel comfortable with that. Maybe that isn't a big deal in your family, but we keep our finances private in mine.

    Buying a home is not something to jump into because someone else thinks it is a good idea for you. If DH and I had listened to his brother, we would have bought at the peak of the market and be underwater like so many other people are right now. We are glad we waited until our finances were ready and we were ready for the responsibilities of owning a home.

    Ultimately, this is something you need to decide WITH your DH and going behind his back and talking to a LO is only going to cause tension in your relationship.

  • Just my experience:

    H and I were renting a house and quite happy with it, and out of the blue a relative showed us a house we just "had to buy." We both hated the house, and it was way out of our price range, and besides that ... we were perfectly happy renting. We told them thank you, but no thanks. But two months later, we started talking with each other about the possibility about buying a house ... looking at our finances, etc. Then a month ago, we started actually looking at houses.

    I do think that relative planted a little seed in both our minds, but we were not ready yet. I would ignore this particular house, and bring up the topic of home-ownership with your H in a month or two and see if/when he sees you two buying a home, what he'd need to financially feel comfortable, etc.

    There's a chance this is the first time it's occurred to him, and like my H and I, he needs more time to think about it and look at the financial side of it.

  • I don't think the loan situation sounds sketchy exactly, a VA loan does offer 100% financing and it's a legitimate loan program. However, be aware that a VA loan requires paying a funding fee, which is about 2% of the loan amount. Yes, you can get 100% financing with no PMI, but you need to have money on hand to pay the funding fee. We did a VA loan, but we did make a down payment even though it wasn't required. Our funding fee was about $6500 I think.

    I agree with everyone else who said that having a monthly mortgage payment that's less than your current rent payment does not mean that it's cheaper to own a house. There are a lot of other expenses that go along with owning a house that are not a factor when you're renting. Homeowner's insurance is not as cheap as renter's insurance. In many cases, utility costs are higher in a home, especially if you're in an apartment now. Buying & maintaining lawn care equipment costs money. Watering & fertilizing a lawn costs money. Having your furnace cleaned & serviced every fall costs money. Shampooing carpets costs money. Sealing your driveway every couple of years costs money. Cleaning fireplaces costs money. Furnace filters and water filters and water softener salt and light bulbs and so on ... it adds up fast!

    Do you have any savings? Even if you get 100% financing (which isn't always the best idea BTW), you need to have plenty of cash on hand. You'll have closing costs, moving costs, costs to set up and furnish your house, etc. Not to mention that you absolutely need an emergency fund for when unexpected repair/maintenance issues come up ... and they will come up ... trust me.

    Like someone else said, find out why your H is hesitant about buying. It's not a good idea to get into a big financial commitment that he's not comfortable with. There's no need to rush. Take your time and figure out if this is a good plan for you.

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    Mr. Sammy Dog
  • Sorry for the delayed response...I finally gotten my H to sit down and talk it all out. He apologized for being closed off and said it was a rough day. I of course told him i didnt want to push him into something we wasnt comfortable with because we have to be in on it as a team.

    We have been thinking about looking for a house, but really have been so wrapped up in work (for both of us) we havent really thought much more about it. He said he was hesitant because we had some things that needed to be delt with first, most importantly figuring out my car (the lease is up and there was a discrepancy on what we owed to buy it outright) and hearing back about my student loans. Both are now resolved as of yesterday and we can breathe easy...plus my H just got a raise effective next Monday which has even more reassured him we are more than ok--especially since we are first time home buyers!!

    The house has only been on the market for a week, so its not something my aunt is having a hard time selling--she simply saw it posted and looked into and thought it was worth our while to look into because of the great deal and condition it is in. H and i are just seeing where this goes...now we are trying to see if we can get approved.

     

  • imagekaitlyn&henry:

    Sorry for the delayed response...I finally gotten my H to sit down and talk it all out. He apologized for being closed off and said it was a rough day. I of course told him i didnt want to push him into something we wasnt comfortable with because we have to be in on it as a team.

    We have been thinking about looking for a house, but really have been so wrapped up in work (for both of us) we havent really thought much more about it. He said he was hesitant because we had some things that needed to be delt with first, most importantly figuring out my car (the lease is up and there was a discrepancy on what we owed to buy it outright) and hearing back about my student loans. Both are now resolved as of yesterday and we can breathe easy...plus my H just got a raise effective next Monday which has even more reassured him we are more than ok--especially since we are first time home buyers!!

    The house has only been on the market for a week, so its not something my aunt is having a hard time selling--she simply saw it posted and looked into and thought it was worth our while to look into because of the great deal and condition it is in. H and i are just seeing where this goes...now we are trying to see if we can get approved.

     

     

    Best of luck, my only advice is to not rush into it.  Make sure it is a good deal FOR YOU.  It has the things you want for the longer term.  We looked at over 100 houses in a few yr time frame, and I think back to the ones we saw first that we LOVED and am so glad we didn't buy them!

    1st Groom

    View our FOR SALE items
    http://tinyurl.com/3jjv7vy
    image
  • Buying a home is much more than paying the mortgage.  You need to be financially ready for home ownership.

    You need to have a good emergnecy fund (6 month's expenses)

    Pay off your consumer debt

    Have savings for moving costs, closing costs, start up costs, repair & renovation costs, decorating & furniture, and all the smaller items you need with a house - ladders, lawn mower, tools, hoses,etc.

    YOU are responsible if the roof leaks, the furnace dies etc.

    Housing costs should be no more than 2528% of your TAKEHOME pay ---- that includes mortgage+PMI+insurance+taxes+utilities. 

  • imageSisugal:

    Buying a home is much more than paying the mortgage.  You need to be financially ready for home ownership.

    You need to have a good emergnecy fund (6 month's expenses)

    Pay off your consumer debt

    Have savings for moving costs, closing costs, start up costs, repair & renovation costs, decorating & furniture, and all the smaller items you need with a house - ladders, lawn mower, tools, hoses,etc.

    YOU are responsible if the roof leaks, the furnace dies etc.

    Housing costs should be no more than 2528% of your TAKEHOME pay ---- that includes mortgage+PMI+insurance+taxes+utilities. 

    That ratio is ideal but not realistic in some areas.  In NJ there are many areas where the average price is around 500K or more.  With a 20% downpayment, mortgage including taxes and utilities will be about 3500 a month.  That would mean your household would have to be bringing in 280K a yr, which I doubt all these people are.

    1st Groom

    View our FOR SALE items
    http://tinyurl.com/3jjv7vy
    image
  • I just had to write you!  I am a Home Mortgage Consultant with Wells Fargo (L.O.). When you decide the time is right, I would be happy to guide you through the pre-qualification process.  First time homebuyers are my favorite loans to do!  I am truly happy to help - no commitment or fees, just HONEST ADVICE! That's how I've built my business, HONESTY :)  Let me know if I can be of assistance and God bless.
  • imageACornetta:
    I just had to write you!  I am a Home Mortgage Consultant with Wells Fargo (L.O.). When you decide the time is right, I would be happy to guide you through the pre-qualification process.  First time homebuyers are my favorite loans to do!  I am truly happy to help - no commitment or fees, just HONEST ADVICE! That's how I've built my business, HONESTY :)  Let me know if I can be of assistance and God bless.

    I am pretty sure this is against the rules, hope you don't get banned.

    1st Groom

    View our FOR SALE items
    http://tinyurl.com/3jjv7vy
    image
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