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Wow .. I guess I WILL hire a lawyer after all! (kinda long)
So, I originally told STBXH that I had met with a lawyer, but that everything will be amicable and he agreed, but wasn't happy about spending the money on the lawyer fees (understandable). So, last week we discussed what we were going to do with our house .. we have 2 mortgages and owe more than its worth at this point. So he told me he wanted me to live in the house (obviously that would make more sense since I am with DS in the morning after he goes to work and I am home from work with DS waaay before him). And so I agreed. He said we should do a "hardship" letter to our mortgage companies telling them we're getting divorced and asking if they'd reduce the payments so that I can continue to live there or else we'd be faced with foreclosure.
Well, I sent STBX a VERY nice email this morning, basically saying that I think WE do need to hire an atty only because of our child and house issues.. it is very complex and I am worried about hurting our credit and ultimately screwing everything up for DS. I also asked him if he started drafting the hardship letter. He wrote back saying the letter already went out LAST week!! And that he doesn't care about the house or our credit.. only DS. I said WOW, I am trying to work WITH you here and am surprised that you are not doing the same..I thought I'd have a say in the letter, since my name is also on the mortgage. He sent me the letter and its basically from him begging the mort co for HIM to stay in the house. I can't believe this man is doing this!!! I didn't think he's be so vindicitive..after all..Im leaving him because HE cheated, lied, etc!! Of course he denies ALL of it and will never admit to any of it or that his wrongdoings have led me to file for divorce!! I was even going to divorce under "no fault" to save him any embarassment! WTF is wrong with ME? So yes, now I am seeing an atty on Friday and will be filing for divorce through. I am just so hurt and shocked by this... I can't believe it's turned to THIS!
Re: Wow .. I guess I WILL hire a lawyer after all! (kinda long)
Sorry you are going through this, but it is best to CYA. My XH cheated too and originally said he wanted things to be as amicable as possible, but turned out being the opposite. Good luck, you will get through this!
I have an attorney already..but thanks for the recommendation offer! I already met with him and owe him $. so I'll just stick with him - and he's right next door to my job which will come in handy!
Thanks ladies.. I'm def trying to get through this.. its especially hard because we still live together... I feel like I can't truly get on with my life yet because nothing has changed.