Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Torture = me having to attend my aunt's wedding with STBXH
My family just assumed it would be easier if we came together. We've had a long separation - almost a year now and just recently filed for divorce as we both are seeing people. This is going to be fun. We are also driving together - its an hour drive. But now I get to drink!
I look super hot in my little black dress though so he can remember what he gave up....lol...not sure why I feel that way but I do.
Re: Torture = me having to attend my aunt's wedding with STBXH
This is a situation that didn't need to happen.
(I'm sure lots of people will expand on that, but that's pretty much it.)
Is it just you and your stbxh driving together, or with family in a van? And you are allowing that?
Yes uh huh I agree with this 100%
And ditto a PP - why is your ex even going to this wedding in the first place?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I still do not get why you would have to go together/ride together.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would beg to differ.
You are doing what your family feels, but what about you? It sounds like you are completely okay with this but why are you complaining this is "Torture"? You have choices you know.
SO is fine with the idea - he knows I would not do any such thing.
X and I even drove to the courthouse to file our divorce papers together. It was weird but that is how things are. I agree my family needs to understand we really are getting a divorce and their "planning" this isn't going to be some magical night that pushes us back together.
Yes, why are you dating someone if you're still attending family function with your XH?? Cut the ties, like, yesterday.
BUT i would say that at least to your family, you need to do a better job of drawing a more firm line in the sand. Just going along w/ what they think is a good idea is going to send a message to them, on some level, that you want this, that YOU like the idea too.
The title of your post is that this is "torture". maybe you were just going for dramatic to get our attention, but still.... that's the title of your post where you're now talking about how well you get along, how this isn't a big deal,etc.
Mixed messages all over the place!
Has your family met the guy you're dating?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
If they needed to get this message, you would have sent it by now.
I won't begin to guess what you're trying to accomplish at this wedding, but "Make sure my family is clear we're getting a divorce" wouldn't be very high on my list if I were making one. "Get back together with my husband and screw with my perfectly nice, trusting bf" might rank higher. If I were making a list, that is. Which I'm not.
I would rather drive myself then to drive with an X. Even if that means not drinking.
achase: I love your new pic in your siggy.
Thank you!
So, your family invited him and told you that you had to ride with him if you wanted to come to the wedding at all?
Because I'm failing to understand how riding with him is your family's decision.
Agreed!
Wait... are you and your ex BOTH invited... like separately... like if you were not taking him with you would you still be attending?? There is no reason for that.
You need to go b/c she is YOUR aunt. It is YOUR family function. If your aunt does not want you to bring your new b/f "so soon" then you go alone. It is a family function, you will know lots of people there. It is not like a college friend's wedding that you haven't seen in 10 yr so you may not know anyone else so you would want to bring a date.
I think it is great that you and your ex can remain friends especially if you have children together. My hope is that my husband and I will be able to do the same once we are separated/divorced. However there is a time and a place for it. Your child's birthday = the perfect place for you to go together and be amicable and be friends. Your aunt's wedding = no reason for him to be there AT ALL.
I would never bring my STBX to a family function unless it was related to our children after we were separated.