July 2009 Weddings
LauraR326
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
The Duggar's 20th Child!
Yup, they are expecting. I sent E a text that said we needed to catch up. 
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Re: The Duggar's 20th Child!
This is exactly my thought process.
Mine too. I just don't get it. They have all those children and after #19 was so premature and has since had a few issues after coming home, you would think they would say okay, we have enough.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
In one sense, I feel like they never plan pregnancies, they just let them happen. From what I've read about them, they feel like any form of BC is wrong and they should just let it happen as it will. So this might be a had-sex-got-pregnant simple as that scenario. As in, I don't feel like they sat down and charted their way or said they wanted another one.
On the other hand, I feel like even if you do feel like BC is wrong, after being pregnant so many times, you know at what point in your cycle you should be all "not tonight, honey." So that makes me think they did plan it.
Even still that still doesn't bother me. It's none of my business or concern what they choose to do. If they can take care of the kid no matter if it's early or whatever, there's no issue here.
This, also. I don't accept the thought of 'putting it in God's hands' and 'if He wants us to have children, then that's what will happen' in their situation. No, you had sex during ovulation, you are responsible for having the child. They could easily make the choice not have sex during the fertile time in her cycle.
How old is the littlest one? I assume she's doing ok.
This is insane!!!
Also, "I don't know how it happened..." I about peed my pants.
Jenny McCarthy = Former Playmate and MTV host
Pediatrician = Doctor with extensive experience and education on children.
Bumpies = Don't get me started!
I know who I get my health advice from!
What are you looking at?
Oh I get that no one's saying what they should or shouldn't do.
I just don't get the irresponsible part. Is she more likely to have a bad pregnancy this time because of last time? I'm not particularly up on pregnancy risks, so I don't know.
And I guess they just like lots of kids. My grandmother has always said that once you have 3 you could have 12 and still be able to function at the same level. (She had 5) haha...
Jenny McCarthy = Former Playmate and MTV host
Pediatrician = Doctor with extensive experience and education on children.
Bumpies = Don't get me started!
I know who I get my health advice from!
What are you looking at?
I can't decide if irresponsible or selfish is the word I'm looking for. I just don't understand their line of thinking and how they could possibly want to go through that again when they've had so many (many, many, many!) blessings with their other 19 children.
EDIT: I do understand that they have a different religious background than most people. Again, they're not hurting anyone (except possibly themselves) with their choice. It's just very difficult to even begin to understand this line of thinking.
I hope this pregnancy ends better than the last one did for them!
Also-I watched one episode where they said they do not believe in birth control and they think that they are doing right by God by having as many children as he allows them to have.
One thing that concerns me is the level of attention the younger children get-by watching the show, it seems like the older children are put in charge more than the parents.
I got a chuckle out of that one, because I could tell Jim-Bob was totally joking when he made that comment.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
I guess everyone has their own opinion on that. I have to say even having grown up in a family of 11 where I was the 2nd oldest it wasn't at all uncommon to be responsible for one of the younger ones. It becomes a part of life, and personally in my own experience it never hurt me. If anything it teaches responsibility.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
The only issue I have with it is all the risks she's taking by having another. She's 45, that in and of itself makes her high risk. Plus #19 was so premature due to pre-e, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the risk for pre-e increases with age, I know it's possible to get it at any age and with any pregnancy, but still she's already gone through it with the last one. I worry that all the risks she's taking is putting herself and this new baby in danger and what if something were to happen to either of them? Or something happen to her and now she has 19 kids without a mother. Not to mention how the other kids already have their assigned younger kids to look after and help with. It's just not fair to those kids to have to constantly have to look after their siblings. I only had 2 younger siblings and I resented my parents all the time for making me be responsible for them at times, especially when I was a teenager trying to do my own thing.
My great grandmother had 16 children, but back then you needed all those kids to work on the farm, today that's not the case. I get wanting to have kids and realizing each is a blessing, but I think at some point you have to consider the risks associated with age, and pregnancy complications.
I am pretty sure they do not believe in birth control and believe that, as she stated, any pregnancy is a "gift from God". The naivety of that statement baffles my mind. In this day and age, how can you not understand that sex around the time of ovulation = possibility of a baby 9 months later.
I have no real issue with them having as many children as they want as long as they are able to care for them all. And I think that with their TLC deal that is no longer a problem. However, I don't know how much more Michelle's body can take and find it rather irresponsible that they would continue to put themselves in a position to get pregnant again knowing that her life, as well as the unborn child's life could be at great risk. I'm sorry, but I just don't buy the "God won't give us what we can't handle" line in this case. Sex = pregnancy. Go back and take your grade 5 health class!
Responsibility is fine-but I think it's sad the older girls have said numerous times, "I'm not in a hurry to get married because my parents need me to help with the little ones." That's sad, in my opinion.
I'm not worried about the responsibility of the children, I was the youngest of three children-that doesn't make me less responsible than the oldest of twenty children, ya know?
I'm worried about the fact that the parents don't seem to be the ones that give them punishments or rewards, for that matter. The little kids seem to get next to no attention from the parents-at least no one on one attention.
That being said-I'm going by the handful of episodes I watched. I could be totally wrong and maybe when the cameras are off/not around they are able to have one-on-one attention with the children. It just comes off on the show as the children don't get that and I feel like they're missing out. I can't say that's how it is for sure because I don't know them-it's just my opinion.
I guess what it comes down to for me is that because I was raised in a "very similar" way the concept isn't foreign to me so I don't have problems with the way they do things.
That also goes for the girls staying at home to help their parents. As far as that goes they stay at home until the right guy meets them, they don't go out and date multiple men in hopes of finding Mr. Right. Which was the same way we were raised. I don't think that they stay at home because they have to it's just because they haven't met the right man to get married to.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
I saw some interviews with the Duggars and I feel like their reasoning for having so many children is flawed
Michelle and Jim Bob used BCP for the first year or so of their marriage to avoid having kids. Then, after going off BCP and getting pregnant, Michelle had a miscarriage. The doctor told them that getting a BFP so soon after coming off BCP could have been part of the reason she m/c. At that point Michelle and Jim Bob said the whole "we'll have as many kids as God allows" line and haven't stopped since.
I get that a m/c would be devastating. I get that when that happens you look for reasons why so that you can fix the issue in order to finally have a healthy, sticky baby. I just feel like they've got this mindset of "we need to keep having babies or else we aren't properly thanking God for the kids we do have".
Clearly, they can afford to support that many kids and it's not my business... but if they make a public spectacle of themselves announcing every sneeze on tv then I reserve the right to give them the side eye.
the wedding | the blog
A few things:
Alise - I don't believe that anyone is saying how they are raising their children is wrong, and by extension no one is questioning your upbringing. You were raised in a family of 11, which to me is hard to understand, but the Duggars are almost twice the size of your family. That is a large difference. Also, the irresponsibility part comes mostly b/c she had a difficult pregnancy with her last one. She almost lost her child and that baby had to fight so hard and so long to survive, and thankfully she did. At Michelle's age, and with this past issue, she is kind of opening a door to another rough pregnancy. Like others said, God forbid, what would they do if something happened to Michelle? She has so many children that would lose their mom. I think for them it is time to call it quits, and enjoy the blessings and good fortune they have had.
Bekkah - I agree with you. If they have put themselves in the public eye by being on tv, they need to accept what people have to say.
This exactly.
Also, it's kind of funny that this was announced today as my friends and I were talking about how many kids they have the other night and we couldn't remember if it was 19 or 20! lol
For me it is probably easier to understand why they do things the way they do. Have as many children as they do, say that they are all blessing etc. than it is for most. A lot of that is because of how I was raised, and so many things are so similar to the way I think.
Than again everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I'm not calling anyone out by saying any of this.
Also if anyone has any questions for me don't hesitate to ask, I'm pretty open in general and will answer anything you are wondering about, as long as I feel comfortable doing so.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
My thoughts exactly. I'm convinced that they are only doing it for selfish reasons now.
I couldn't fathom having 20 children, but good for them. From the little I've seen of the show, the family seems happy, the children seem well-adjusted and they all appear to be loved. Coming from what I see every day, all children should be that lucky.
I know that her age is a risk factor with pregnancy, but I think many other women her age are still choosing to have babies despite the risk so can't really blame her for that. Yes, the last pregnancy was a struggle but I'm not sure what the medical reasons were or whether that means she's more likely to suffer through another tough pregnancy? My only experiences with an extremely difficult pregnancy is a friend who then went on to have two other healthy pregnancies. I guess I'd need to know more details to really say whether it's irresponsible.
With all of the 'how they raise their children' aside...
#18 was Michelle's first c-section I believe 3 weeks early due to high BP (could be wrong, but I know it was her first c-section)
#19 Baby was 15 weeks premature, and Michelle's BP was so high they had to do an emergency section to avoid a stroke
#20 they are asking for complications.
I pray that she has an easier pregnancy than the last 2, but at age 45 she's not doing her body any favors.
This makes a lot of sense to me. Scary and I hope it goes better for her this time.