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Babysitter.
So in Jakarta it is really normal to have a driver (DH's company actually refuses to let us drive), a maid and a nanny.
I have had a maid and driver since we moved here, neither speaks very good English and an opportunity came up to share a nanny/babysitter with another person at DH's company so we thought why not, it would be good for Otto to get to know someone so that if we wanted to go out to dinner or a movie now and then it would be someone Otto is used to.
Fast forward a few weeks and she comes to us 2 days a week and plays with Otto while I am always around, Otto LOVES her, to the point now that he tells me to go away so he can play with her. I know this is good for him, he is 2 and probably craves the interaction with another person, he would get to go to my MIL's at least once a week if we were at home. She is a lovely person and great babysitter always coming up with new games for them to play, but I have to be honest it kind of hurts.
I know it sounds so stupid, I invited her here and it has been really pleasant to have an extra pair of hands around so that I can interact with people easier and know that if I duck out during his nap he doesn't even really miss me, but I kind of feel like a third wheel and like I have nothing to do, for 2 years my whole life has been devoted to this child and fulfilling his needs and now he doesn't seem to mind if I am there or not!
I suppose this is just a vent, when I am out and about with the extra help it is amazing, it is better for both Otto and I, but at the same time I really miss him. Such is motherhood I suppose, I can't imagine what it will be like when he starts school, I am going to be such a mess.
Re: Babysitter.
I'm sure it's normal for him to act this way, and I know it's normal for you to feel hurt by it!
We take V to a play space 3-4 days a week. Moms/dads stay there, but there is a staff that basically circulates and plays with the kids. V often does as O does (although she can't speak yet), pushes me away, crawls to them, etc. It really does hurt.
DH brought up the wise point that even though it makes me sad, it should also make me happy that all the love, support and comfort I have given her in the last year makes her able to trust other people and trust that I am coming back. I'm sure if O or V really thought we were gone for good, they'd freak. But they feel secure in themselves and their life! I thought that was a great way to look at it!
(gblake, I feel your pain too. After V learned mama and dada she started thinking it's funny to ONLY use dada. We will say 'who is this' pointing at me and she will smile cheekily and say 'dada'. We say 'no, mama' she smiles...'dada'. Brat!
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Thanks ladies, enidfalcor you bring up a great point, Otto has never felt deserted so I should feel good about that.
gblake, Otto did that for a while but he is still pretty much a complete Mummy's boy.
Thank you.
This is an excellent point!
I'm sorry you are feeling this way Mrshooi, although I don't have children yet, I would think its completely normal.