June 2008 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Am I Wrong?
I am very frustrated and I'm not sure if the stress from work is causing this situation to escalate but I really feel like I'm not wrong here.
This Saturday is Ts first birthday party. My mom and I have been planning it for awhile. My mom has made homemade pic decorations, we've practices the cupcakes and we both have put a lot of work into it (even though there is a ton of stuff left to do). I purposefully had the party on Saturday thinking DHs family wouldn't come till Sat and could spend the night into Sunday. Well they called last night and ALL of them (MIL, FIL, BIl, and 2 nephews) are coming Friday and spending the night. I told Dh there is still a lot to do (making all the food, cleaning, and decorating) plus T needs a good nap. He doesn't understand why I don't want them spending the night Fri.
A few back things as to why I know it will be a problem. We had his nephews for a week. They were fine and well mannered. His parents showed up and they became hellions. Not Listening, eating everything in sight, and one tormented our boxer to where we ended up in the we with a dog bite (on a side note we are now paying to board our 2 dogs for the weekend since they are staying so long and I don't want to mess with that drama too). The oldest nephew is 7 but eats like a 21 year old kid (and prob weighs as much). The inlaws let his down 4 full size cheeseburgers for dinner when they were here.
Also FIL is being a jerk to everyone. I understand he is still grieving the loss of SIL from about a year ago but he has done a lot of crap to push away his 3 sons in the process (including writing smart ass comments on my Facebook posts (which is why o started but quit the thankful posts.)
sorry this got so long, and maybe it is a rant, but they have shown time and time again how inconsiderate they are and I feel like this is another example. Am I wrong?
This Saturday is Ts first birthday party. My mom and I have been planning it for awhile. My mom has made homemade pic decorations, we've practices the cupcakes and we both have put a lot of work into it (even though there is a ton of stuff left to do). I purposefully had the party on Saturday thinking DHs family wouldn't come till Sat and could spend the night into Sunday. Well they called last night and ALL of them (MIL, FIL, BIl, and 2 nephews) are coming Friday and spending the night. I told Dh there is still a lot to do (making all the food, cleaning, and decorating) plus T needs a good nap. He doesn't understand why I don't want them spending the night Fri.
A few back things as to why I know it will be a problem. We had his nephews for a week. They were fine and well mannered. His parents showed up and they became hellions. Not Listening, eating everything in sight, and one tormented our boxer to where we ended up in the we with a dog bite (on a side note we are now paying to board our 2 dogs for the weekend since they are staying so long and I don't want to mess with that drama too). The oldest nephew is 7 but eats like a 21 year old kid (and prob weighs as much). The inlaws let his down 4 full size cheeseburgers for dinner when they were here.
Also FIL is being a jerk to everyone. I understand he is still grieving the loss of SIL from about a year ago but he has done a lot of crap to push away his 3 sons in the process (including writing smart ass comments on my Facebook posts (which is why o started but quit the thankful posts.)
sorry this got so long, and maybe it is a rant, but they have shown time and time again how inconsiderate they are and I feel like this is another example. Am I wrong?
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Re: Am I Wrong?
I don't think your wrong, but I think DH probably needs to handle it. If I were in your shoes, I would have DH call and say you are not able to have house guests Friday night, if they want to come down early, they will need to find a hotel room. Otherwise, you will see them on Saturday for the party.
It took my DH a long time before he stood up to his parents that way (it almost broke us up before the wedding too) but now we have no issues with this stuff. It was hard though-they were rude to him and thought I was "controlling" his life, etc etc. But end result is end result, and you guys need to do what's best for your family and situation and they can either respect it or not participate. At least that's my two cents!
Just another vote for "his family, his problem".
I think it's completely fair to say that they can't come down on Friday and if they protest, I would fully say something to the effect of "well, we tried to come visit you guys but you had other plans (AKA busy with freaking NASCAR) how is this any different?
Then again, I am not exactly the poster child for In Law relations.....
Gah, did we marry into the same family?
I'm sorry your'e going through this. I have nothing to add that PP's haven't already said, just wanted to send a hug and tell you, I UNDERSTAND. Good luck!