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Anniversary

Less than a week until what would have been our Anniversary. I'm surprised at how emtional it's making me. Maybe because I'm finally settling into life post divorce.....or maybe because it's my first holiday season alone. We've been separated since February, divorce final in May and I think I'm feeling worse about it now than before. I feel like everyone expects me to be over it. And in some sense I am. I don't want exh back but I'm still bummed about what I thought life was going to be. Any good suggestions on stuff to do to make my first "anniversary" alone a little easier?
image Rain rain go away so I can go outside and play!

Re: Anniversary

  • Don't dwell on it! I had worked myself up into a frenzy about my first anniversary alone and when that day actually came it was like any other day. Find something to occupy your time. If you don't want to be alone that night plan dinner out with friends or something. If you feel you're going to be an emotional wreck and want to stay home prep by getting lots of ice cream, comfort foods, or whatever it is that you like, and plan a night in for yourself to watch sappy chick flicks and cry until there is nothing left or whatever else you like to do. There is no right or wrong way to handle this, it's whatever feels best to you.
  • I was totally dreading my first anniversary alone. It would have been our 4th and I was so looking forward to celebrating it with my DH. It was hard being okay with what was now reality vs. what I had dreamed/wanted for that date. When the day actually came though I was fine and almost forgot about it. It really was like any other day.

    However, a few days later...I had a complete crying outburst and totally lost control of my emotions. I think there are so many emotions involved in a divorce/separation that you can only feel so much at one time...sometimes that can be a good thing...sometimes it means your dealing with emotions after the fact. I have no doubt my total breakdown a few days after my anniversary really was some pent up emotions that just didn't come through the actual day.

    So to sum up, make sure to leave a few days before and after that triggering date to take care of yourself, just in case!

  • I suggest vodka. :)

    That, and, make sure that you surround yourself with people you like, people that make you laugh, and people that love you for you.

  • Last year, on our 4th anniversary, I was 9 months pregnant and we'd been separated for 6 months but I was still devastated.  So my sister, my BFF and I dressed up and went out to a my favorite fancy restaurant (a place XH and I had often gone for special occasions) for a very fabulous "un-niversary" dinner on a gift certificate that had been given to me and XH.  :-)  It was awesome, and created a wonderful new memory for me to associate with October 7.  This year, it was a little weird to me that it felt basically like just another day. 

    Do something fun and fabulous with people you love and celebrate your UNniversary!

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