Starting Over
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Newly dating "honeymoon phase" questions
I am not sure exactly what I am asking, but I will try to word it to where it makes sense.
In general, how long does it take for the "honeymoon phase" to subside? When that happens, what usually happens?
Do you just get more comfortable with one another? Do butterflies go away? Do you hang out with one another less? Pee with the door open? 
LOL... Again, I am not really sure exactly what I am asking for in this post, I guess I am just trying to get opinions.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
Re: Newly dating "honeymoon phase" questions
Again, I think this is a pretty subjective question. Sometimes the couple knows each other for years before they start dating, so the "honeymoon phase" may not be quite as long. Others may last longer because they're still trying to get to know each other from being perfect strangers.
I do think that going through a major life event together, such as a job change, someone moving, or even a death in the family is a good indicator of how someone acts beyond the honeymoon phase...if that makes any sense.
My mom used to say "The bloom is off the rose."
Like your relationship is a flowering plant. The first time it blooms is it beautiful and new, then the petals fall. You have your first fight/disagreement, you are comfortable sharing, you might find some things annoying, you are more comfortable. It isn't all bad, it just means you are more aware of your reality. If you tend to the plant the flower will bloom again.
I basically take it to mean you understand the good, the bad and the ugly. You are comfortable in your reality together. The spark can still be there and you still have moments of butterflies, but your puppies/rainbows/unicorns have gone away.
I really like this metaphor!
I agree with this.
In the beginning of the end of my marriage (when I was in denial and wanted to 'fix' things) I read Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. In this book, he talked about a marriage being like the harvest. The stage of it changes with every season, going from a seed in the soil, to a new,young and healthy plant, to a mature product, to being harvested and the soil being prepared for next year's crop. That kind of goes along with what your mom said, Becca.
Sure, the honeymoon phase is just that...a phase, but that doesn't mean you can't get it back again...just in a different way.
1-3 years!? Holy sh!t, mine tend to be over after about 6 months lol.
RP, for me it is usually when I start finding/realizing the things the other person does that makes me a little crazy. Then I have to decide if I can live with it or not. When the rose colored glasses fall off, and I see the flaws coming out--yep, honeymoon is over!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I have been with DH for just over 4 years, married for approx 5 months. The "honeymoon phase" is not always there but we do little things all the time to make it there.
It's the little things in life that make us feel like we are in the "honeymoon phase" again.
ex.
-I went home and made a pot of tea and then brought him a thermos full. (I work nights him days) He was very happy!
-I had a lovely note and some chocolate on my pillow the other day when I got home from work.
- When he walks to work (only have one vehicle) and I can pick him up (on days off) I will wait for him outside his work so he doesn't have to walk home.
I don't agree with this, but it could just be because of how my relationship is right now. We're LDR (and have been since we met 12.5 months ago) so everytime we get to see each other it's butterflies/rainbows/puppies/roses/whatever you want to call it. We had our first fight on my last trip up there, he helped me through the death of my grandmother in January, and now I'm working on trying to move up there. I still get giddy every single time we talk. Certain things he says will set me over the edge of being a silly school girl.
Now I do realize that part of that can be the LDR thing and not seeing each other much. And I'm not dillusional enough to think that it will last forever. But my point is that having a big fight, or going through major life changes as a couple doesn't always signal the end of the "honeymoon" phase.
Oh, well we do that for each other too. I guess when I say honeymoon stage I mean the "I am SOOO in LURVE and you can do no wrong! You are perfect and I HUGE PINK PUFFY HEART YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"
We do nice things for each other now but he he farts in front of me. He didn't do that before haha!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I didn't elaborate in my response but I don't think the honeymoon phase has to end- as in, go away and never return. But, I think dealing with a fight or a big event does take a relationship to a new level. It lets you learn things about your partner that you don't see every day. Sometimes people realize that they aren't compatible with the way their partner deals with stress/arguments/life changes and that causes you to reevaluate the relationship. I've been with BF for over a year and there is still plenty of time spent being giddy and excited about each other but I don't feel like we're still in the new relationship honeymoon phase. I dunno...I guess everyone has a different view of the honeymoon phase too and will have a different answer to this question! Any luck with jobs or moving up here to MI, startingover?
I can understand that. We've never dealt with the tough situations/life changes in the same state, so I probably do have a different view. Everyone is telling us that the first true test of our relationship will be spending 2-3 days in the car together when I get to move up there! I don't want to jinx anything, but I think that I'll be up there by late Dec/early January. I'm about 80% sure that it's going to work out for that time. Not the best time to move there, but I'll take what I can get!
Awesome! I lurk on the Detroit board but don't post there much anymore, but I do look to see if you've updated about moving up here! I hope it works out for you!! And, moving to the D in the middle of winter will be a test to your relationship- hehe!
After only 3-4 months of dating, BF and I went to Disney with my whole family (25 people total). We spent 10 days in a motor home with my sister, bil, 2 nieces and slept in my dad's motor home with dad, stepmom, 2 nephews, sister & bil. Surprisingly, we all survived. But, I can see how people would joke that you'll be tested being in a car for 2-3 days together when you move!
10 days in a motor home without the other people would drive me crazy!! hahaha!
I know it's not the ideal time to move up there, but I'm going to jump at the chance! I'm not "announcing" anything until I have it on paper though. I'll certainly keep you posted though! Maybe we can have a drinks/coffee/ice cream date when I get up there!
As of last weekend, the bloom was off the rose for us. I got a stomach bug, so basically I was a one-person honeymoon-phase wrecking ball.
But, now we're in the phase where we fart in front of each other and laugh hysterically. I still get butterflies when I see him though.