Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Really XH? Really!?
XH posted a pic of DS on FB that says "chillin' on Granpa's tractor, ready to go hunting with Dad! 
" The picture is of DS decked out in camo gear on an old tractor without a cab - no mittens, no hat, and temp was around 45 or so I'd guess.
I realize I can't tell him how to spend his visitation time, but am I crazy for being upset that he potentially took our 14 month old son into the woods in the cold where there were weapons involved on a tractor without any sort of safety harness (obviously a car seat wasn't involved let alone a seat belt or anything...)
Maternal over reaction or justified concern?
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Re: Really XH? Really!?
Common sense? What's that!? XH would rather "do stuff" with DS, regardless of what's appropriate. He likes to think activities like this are fun for DS, in reality they're fun for XH who thinks he's bonding with his son by sharing common interests. Clearly a 14 month old wants to go hunting with Daddy. Clearly.
A little of both IMO...
Depends a lot on where you live as for the temp. Here? 45 is still okay to not be decked out in a snowsuit - but yes, a little guy should have warmer gear on then we adults need on if he/she is going to be outside for any length of time.
As for the weapons being around a 14 month old? That's a personal conviction.. I personally was raised with guns in the house since I was a newborn. Does that make my parents bad parents? Absolutely not. They are/were locked away/stored properly, I've gone through gun saftey courses and been taught since a young age to respect them/they arent' toys/how to be safe with them. Yes, 14 months is too little to know these things .. but xh can properly handle the situation if he is responsible about gun ownership/saftey.
When you were married - were gun(s) in the household? Is he aware you don't want them around your son or is this something new that xh has "picked up" since you two have been apart?
My problem wasn't actually with the guns or the temp.... at least not as much as the tractor. Were they driving on the tractor?
It is so unsafe to have LOs riding on tractors/mowers!! I see too many accidents and they are always bad.
I wouldn't want my son around guns or drinking. If your ex is like mine there is likely drinking while the hunting is going on.
Interesting you mention this I saw some girl post on FB that her INFANT went hunting with the dad. Mind you it is a baby and the mom did not go along. It completely boggled my mind. I have no idea why or how that occured.
He has always been a hunter, but all his guns, bows, etc. stayed at his parents' house as I refused to let them be in my home. This was due to several reasons, mostly due to his alcoholism and bipolar disorder and not trusting that he wouldn't injure himself (he threatened to commit suicide on multiple occassions) or someone else. My parents have a gun in their home and I have never thought anything about it.
I think being around guns and actually in a situation where they may be used around my child are vastly different things though. You hear of accidents all the time where Bob was aiming for the deer 2 miles away and Sam was in the line of fire and got injured. It always terrified me when we were married that something like that would happen to XH. To think about my helpless child being in an even more dangerous situation makes me feel ill.
I did this instantly when I saw it, just like I do with everything he posts involving DS that is not appropriate.
At this point, I think it's just another bad parenting decision on his part and not something I can change his visitation arrangements over.
The picture is not of them driving, just of DS sitting on it - BY HIMSELF. No one holding him or standing close enough to catch him if he had fallen.
I feel justified that you guys take issues with the weather, the weapons, the tractor, the whole situation as well. I'm not making a mountain out of a molehill on this one it sounds like.
This, but make sure you get a copy of the weather report from that day as well.
But yes, your XH was doing all kinds of stupid things in this situation....idiot.
I thought of this too. I'm sure the National Weather Service almanac has all those records online somewhere. It's all going in the log, you bet your azz on that!
This is what was concerning to me. You don't know that he didn't put gloves or a jacket on him before going out for the day and unless the tractor with your son on it was in an open field with no one nearby, you don't know that someone wasn't right next to it ready to catch him (all possible rebuttals). These are poor parenting decisions for sure, but sitting on a tractor without mittens is much less dangerous IMO than hunting (just IMO, I'm not a statistician or hunter).
It's the blatent disregard for the safety of a human life that I am sick over. Taking your BABY hunting is just not okay. There are too many uncertainties, it's too dangerous.