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A sad realization this morning...made me cry.
So, I was driving into work this morning and thinking to myself about how I love the holidays and USED TO love spending them with STBX. Honestly, though it has been years since I truly enjoyed this time of year, just because he has been completely checked out when it comes to me. Of course I enjoy it with DS, but its not a very happy time when you're married and just living together as "parents". So, this thought made me realize that the last nice, thoughtful and loving thing that STBX did for me was when I was pregnant with DS during the holidays. I was in my first trimester and extremely sick. So much so, that I could not even get out of bed. STBX drove around town at night and took pictures of all the houses with holiday lights because he knew I loved driving around looking at that stuff, but that I was too sick to get out of bed. So, he laid down next to me and surprised me. I know this is so little, but it was huge at the time and I remember at that moment feeling so loved. This made me cry so hard.. to think that the LAST nice thing that he did for me was 5 yrs ago..when I was pregnant. Of course this was way before I knew he tried cheating on me with my best friend a yr after we were married. But, it was such a harsh reality I was faced with driving into work. Just a reminder that once I gave birth, this man completely forgot about me.
Re: A sad realization this morning...made me cry.
That is an incredibly sweet thing followed by an incredibly terrible thing. I'm so sorry you lost your caring H.
But there are other good guys out there... even great guys!
I love Christmas and the holidays seasons. I am not sure how I am going to react this year. It sucks because it just my DS and I. Only my stbxh and his parents are here since all of my family are states away. The hard part is stbxh fights so hard to see DS on the holidays and since I don't have any plans or anyone else to share with, I might have to visit stbxh family.
Oh sweetie, I am sorry.
I have been thinking similar things lately too as I prep for Thanksgiving... like you I am remembering the last really fun time I had with StbX while cooking. And like you it was 7 years ago before I have our first baby. It made me sad as I had bought tons of special red Xmas paper to start a tradition of "gifts left by Santa" and now we will share the boys for the holidays I don't' think it will work....
Isn't it funny how parenthood can completely change someone? That is the hardest part for me to accept/realize. I feel cheated somehow like a bait-n-switch was pulled. Surprise! that loving man you married and thought would be a doting father really is a selfish jerk and as soon as there is work to be done (diaper to change and band-aids to put on scrapped knees) he'd rather ditch you for coworkers (who are 20 years younger) at the bar!
I did read that the man you marry is not the man you divorce so I guess many of us feel the same. Does make it hurt any less though does it?
I'm right there with you ladies. Sharing my son for Christmas this year is going to suck major ones. And I too saw my ex change after our son was born into someone who wanted to be with his young female coworker more than he wanted to be at home with me. Well at least we're not alone. That gives me some comfort.