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I need a little advice- beware this post is long.
Ok here is the situation:
I am a manager of a call center, last year, against my better judgment I hired my cousin as a call center representative. I know I know, that was my first mistake.
Over the course of time, we have grown very close (so I thought). We have always maintained a "honesty" policy at work, and outside. With the mutual understanding that if we had any issues with the other we would be honest and talk about it.
Fast forward to last week:
My cousins father-in-law (who her family lives with) just found out that he has cancer and probable life expectancy is 2 weeks. Of course "S" (my cousin). was very upset, and rightfully so. I told her if she needed to take a few days off, to go ahead. She was concerned with money, I told her no worries, I will pay her.
S took Wed,Thur and Fri off, and came back to work on Mon.
On Monday she informed me that she "had bad news" she wanted to take Tuesday off to go with SIL to drive niece back to airport, as her SIL's husband couldn't job wouldn't allow him to take time off with pay.
I was taken aback, and started a conversation with her about how I was feeling.
I told her that her job was the same as her BIL, that I had no problem with giving her the day off, but I was having a hard time with paying her for it. She responded with 'then don't pay me, I don't care"
I told her I felt like it was not her burden to carry, it is SIL and her husbands. We talked for about 15 minutes regarding this. I knew she did not like what I said, but after this conversation we carried on other conversations normally. At the end of the day, she sd, "see you tommorow". I thought this was odd, considering she wanted to take it off.
I came in, in the morning, she informed me that she had a meeting at the hospital with FIL doctor @ 9:30. OK, it was not uncommon for her to have appointments, as the family had several in the last 2 weeks witht the family doctor. All of which I allowed her to go, and did not dock, not did she offer to make up the time.
She came back with a "medial leave" form and told me that she didnt feel like she should have to justify to me when or why she was going somewhere. She also told me that I was mean to her. I told her that I did not want her to be more upset, so to take her two weeks, and we will talk later.
I feel very betrayed here. I feel like she was taking advantage of my generosity. I had given her ample time off, with pay, all of which I was not obligated to. I have been honest with her, and she did not even attempt to discuss her feelings with me before running for stress leave.
I know I opened the doors for her to abuse, and for that I do take full responsibility. When she comes back I do plan on having a talk with her about work and boundary's. Does anyone have any tips, suggestions for this talk?
Re: I need a little advice- beware this post is long.
I agree. I would sympathize with everything going on, but speaking as a boss, she needs to stop taking advantage of what you are giving her. In my opinion, I think paying her for when she is not working needs to stop. You probably don't do that for others, it should not be done for her. It is enabling her to take advantage of your relationship.
Good luck in dealing with this situation.
Eeshh...management is hard enough. I can't even imaging managing a relative.
I agree with your position. I would make it clear that you are happy with her WORK (so she doesn't think you're reprimanding her) and because of her hard work, you are happy to let her take some time off with her job guaranteed when she returns, but you won't be able to pay her for it. Make sure you criticize with a compliment, so she doesn't feel as though the whole world is raining down on her. Making her feel as though she's so good at her job that you're willing to guarentee her job after a few weeks, is much better than her feeling as though you're begrudging her time with her family.