BR: infant niece passed away

Mrs. Pink · November 2011

I just don't know what to do. Me and my deaf SIL were pg together but she was due Jan '12. Her and my deaf BIL live with my nephew almost 2 hrs away. Well, at 24 wks she went to hospital with contrax and dilation that eventually stopped but was released to bedrest with a cerclage. She got rushed back a couple weeks ago with bleeding and contrax again and ended up being admitted until delivery. During this time she was pumped with steroids for baby and magnesium for contrax.

Days later at just over 26 wks, she delivered my niece. I was big and pg and thought it was best for us not to make the trip bc of distance from home in my last wks and honestly the last thing I'd want to see when my baby is in NICU is my pg SIL, so I was trying to be mindful of that. Miraculously, my niece came out breathing on her own and passed all the tests including the critical 72 hr mark with flying colors. Well, 2 days later I go into labor and it's been a whirlwind since then. I've tried to get DH to take a trip there, but it's been one thing after another.

Hours ago my MIL said baby had to have surgery in middle of night to relieve some pressure on her abdomen and a few other things, but she wasn't doing well. they were headed there, but didn't make it. She passed away.

I mention both parents being deaf because with them there is a perception gap. They thought she was fine. Multiple trips to hospital were ok. And in regular jolly moods for past month. Now, of course they're devastated and just don't understand.

I just don't know what to do. I dont know how to help them grieve or understand or whatever. I don't know what the purpose of this post is either. Thanks for listening. I'm just heartbroken, regretful to never see her and just genuinely wanna help them.

Rangergal9 · November 2011

How devastating! My heart breaks for them. I don't really know what to suggest that you could do because I know it must be hard having your LO and theirs just passed away. So no real advice, but I will be keeping them in my T&Ps.

Loveofjoe11 · November 2011

There doesn't have to be a purpose to a post, a lot of times it's therapeutic. I wish your family didn't have to go through this. I am so sorry for everyone's loss. I can't imagine.