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Thanksgiving drama already
I cannot believe Thanksgiving is in less than 2 weeks.
We had our first drama last night at dinner regarding this. DH and I went to dinner with my parents and brother to celebrate my mom's birthday.
A little background. We live about 15 minutes from DH's parents. We see them normally once or twice a week. Often times, just quick visits but sometimes we do dinner together. We live about an hour and a half from my parents. We see them about twice a month. We honestly enjoy spending time more with DH's parents than mine.
Anyway, last year we went to my parents. I made it clear that we were going to trade Thanksgiving each year because it is too hard to hit up both families dinners. We tried it once because DH's family eats early and my family still eats at dinner time. My mom ended up being annoyed that we got to dinner later than planned.
Anyway, Thanksgiving came up last night. I reminded my mom that we said last year we were going to switch off. DH backed this up. But then my mom snapped at him and said, I just thought things would be different since you are at your parents so much. As she said it, she was a bit teary. I asked DH to back off quietly because I could tell she was upset.
I know my mom is jealous. But hanging with our families is very different. DH's parents are much more laid back. My parents (well, my mom) seems to make everything into a formal event. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but don't always want to do a formal get together.
Any advice on how to calm my mom without giving in and going there for dinner AND not feeling like she is guilt tripping me? I really thought I had laid the groundwork last year to prevent this!
Thanks!
Re: Thanksgiving drama already
No real advice, but stick to your original plans. Otherwise if you cave this time, she'll expect you to cave every time!
Normally, (as in for the past 6 years), we'd do dinner at one house, then dessert at the other house; and then every year we'd alternate who's house we started at. However, MIL has gotten tired of "sharing" us, so this year she's hosting Thanksgiving the Saturday before hand. Though she did invite my immediate family as well. It'll be interesting to say the least!
Thanks! I thought about seeing about my parents coming to my in-laws. They all get along. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to start that. My ILs would probably not come to my parents, if they were invited, because of other family who comes to dinner.
They get along okay. It's just that in the past my parents have always invited his family to our gatherings (like summer bbqs and minor holidays) because it's only MIL, FIL and BIL when H and I are at my side but they always have blown off the invitations. So my mom was tempted to not go, but she thought she'd go now that we're married and give it one last shot. It sure would make things a lot easier to do one family gathering instead of going back and forth!