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I know I am overreacting- VENT!
I live ten minutes from my parents and fifteen to twenty minutes from ILs. I have a strained relationship with my married parents. My mom refuses to talk to me and my dad tries to maintain a relationship and not get in the middle of things between mom and me. This is no easy task. I am slowly realizing I never had the great relationship with my parents that I thought I had.
It was pretty much a given that I would not be spending Thanksgiving with my parents. I would have liked to, but I knew my mom wouldn't want to. We made plans with ILs and figured if things change with my parents my inlaws are good about going with the flow and changing plans. I finally brought up Thanksgiving with my dad. He tells me they are going to Colorado to see my brother. (We live in Florida.) He did apologize eventually and say that he probably should have told me. It isn't really that big of a deal because I assumed we wouldn't be together anyway. I can't put my finger on why it bothers me so much. My parents obviously do not need permission to go away. I just like to be in the loop as far as where they are. Oh well, at least my dad admitted he probably should have told me. Things will be fine with the ILs. /vent over
Re: I know I am overreacting- VENT!
Why would you make plans with your ILs only to plan on cancelling/changing them when (or if) you heard from your parents? I hope you're talking about these types of decisions with your therapist. It sounds to me like you're enmeshed with your parents and not separate, which might explain why you're having a hard time with their decision to travel on Thanksgiving independent of you.
Its hard at the holidays when family relations are strained, Julie.
I don't have much in the way of advice but I am sending you hugs.
and pie...
In my world pie and coffee (sometimes booze lol) makes everything better.
(don't forget bacon, but bacon pie sounds nasty-- quiche maybe?)
I think it sucks that your parents can't be bothered to spend a holiday with the child who lives ten minutes from them but are willing to deal with airport security over a freaking holiday weekend no less and schlep to Colorado to see your brother.
That's pretty much how I would view it in your shoes. And while, yes, they can do as they please and you'll be fine at your IL's, it still stings. You sound like you're on the right track, both with your emotions and how you're handling it. I think it's perfectly okay to make other plans, to logically understand how things are, but still feel a wee bit peturbed by the sitch, kwim?
Click me, click me!