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What I've learned in the last 10 days (vent...long...sorry)
All right, ladies....I'm going to vent a little here, because it's been on my mind the last couple days, and I can't put it on FB. 
Sorry it got so long!
DH had his surgery last Thursday. In that time, we've gotten very little help from any friends. One guy from DH's gym has come over a couple times (helped him up the stairs the day of his surgery, played with Satchel two days while I was out of town), and one neighbor put our trash cans out at the curb while I was out of town. That's basically been it.
I did outright ask a couple people if they could come over to help DH while I was out of town, and they weren't able to do it. That's fine....if you can't, you can't. One or two people have said to DH, "If you need anything, let me know!" But DH isn't going to ask for anything, and there hasn't been much we've really *needed.* Maybe I'm being prideful, but I don't want to approach someone to say, "Hey, come do this for me."
But since DH is on his crutches, there's not much he can do for himself or to help out around the house. If the dog is going to get walked, I have to do it. If we're going to eat, I have to do the grocery shopping and all of the cooking (and the cleanup). If the leaves are going to get raked, I have to do it. If the house is going to be cleaned, I have to do it. If DH is going to bathe or wash his hair, I have to help him with it. If the laundry is going to get done, I have to do it. It's not that I *can't* do any of these things...but having to be the one who does *everything* is exhausting. (And I still have to find the time to work full time and do my work for my grad class.)
So what I've learned....in the future, if I have a friend who's going through something major, I will definitely offer something specific in the way of help. While I'm not going to ask friends to come over and help me rake leaves, I certainly wouldn't have turned someone down if they'd offered to help. I'm not going to ask someone to make us dinner, but I wouldn't turn it down if someone showed up with food.
Anyways....that's what I was thinking about while I spent a couple hours raking leaves this afternoon (and will have to find time to finish during my work day tomorrow since it gets dark so darn early here now). 
Thanks for letting me vent!
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Re: What I've learned in the last 10 days (vent...long...sorry)
i'm sorry to hear
it IS the thought and offer that counts though. as a military spouse, obviously we're in the "it's only ME taking care of things" a lot.... mowing, car care, raking, housework, killing bugs,.............. and i dont like to ask for help either but it is nice to have others extend the offer to help every now and then (some of my guy friends have offered and i've taken them up on help with airing up tires, pressure washing, etc.......) but it DOES make you keep in mind to make sure you offer your help if someone is going thru a difficult/different time in their life!
Welcome to my world! When DH has ankle problems and cant walk for a month or so (thanks to part of his foot missing bc of cancer), Im the one who does it all.
Im sorry your friends didnt reach out to you guys! It would have been nice if they might have prepared you guys a meal or something like that. Sometimes, its these lessons we need so that we can be better ourselves. And, you really realize who your friends really are in time of need unfortunately.
How's he doing?
Our Blog!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I'm sorry Carrie. It is hard when people say "let me know if you need anything" because I know for me I hate to bother people or be a burden. I know they would do whatever you asked them to do but it is hard sometimes. Don't feel had though asking for help. It is hard doing it all and you need help. I wish I lived closer because I would totally walk satchel and P and I would live to play with him, fix you dinner and I would make G help you with leaves.
Does your church have any kind of ministry that will send people out to help? If so, could you let them know that you need some help with raking leaves and maybe someone come 2-3 times a week to walk satchel and play with him some (I'm sure a family with some older kids would love this). Does your church have a food team? My church has one and we got dinner brought to us for the first couple of weeks. It doesn't hurt to see if they do and if they don't have any kind of ministry like these maybe it will give them the idea of starting one.
I almost commented on one of your statuses about taking leaves and saying that it would be nice if one of your local friends would come out and help you, but I didn't think it was a good idea to post.
Could you make a post asking for help and be specific? I think people might respond if they knew. Post asking for help with satchel, help with yard work or even have someone come sit with Dh while you run errands so you don't have to worry about Jim while you are gone.
I know it is hard and you are doing your best. I am right with you in the lesson I learned about just doing something for someone instead of saying let me know if you need anything.
Sorry this got long. I wish I could help you. Hope S gets better and his clots clear up.
Thank you, Heather! You're so sweet! I will say that things have felt less exhausting in the last day or two.
Our Blog!
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."