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I don't know if it's because it's fall but it's really hard to catch with my friends these days. Most of them are out of town so we mainly communicate online. I am wondering, especially for the married ones, if they think divorce is contagious. I try not to talk about my divorce with them because I understand it can be stressful to people. So I am wondering where the F is everyone.
Re: Is divorce contagious?
From the trend on the IN board I would say yes. 3 of our marriages broke up in something like 6 months!
TBH, I think that when one person gets divorced and others see it, it's almost like a light goes off or a seed gets planted in someone's head. Hell, I didn't have the balls to leave XH until after you told me that your H was a huge douche. I knew you were broken up but also knew that you would be okay Seeing someone else go through something that I was wanting to do was enough of an impetus to tell myself that I will be okay alone. The grass is greener mentality I guess.
I know this wasn't the answer that you were looking for but I do feel like divorce is a bit contagious. Sorry your friends aren't around right now...
Sorry your friends aren't around. I agree with the other girls that divorce can be contagious. I know I had a few friends go through the same thing around the same time I was. I think it does make people look at their own marriages a little bit more.
I do think this group is great for talking about what is going on though!
I was talking about this with someone the other day--sometimes when you get divorced, couples don't want to hang out with you because of you're the "single woman" (i.e. threat) to their marriages now. I noticed this after a misunderstanding with someone at a wedding--a guy hit on me, I took the bait not knowing he had a girlfriend and my friend blamed me. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm out to screw every attached man. Now that you're single, maybe you're a "threat" to them?
Makes me want to wear a sign that says, "I just got rid of a farting, burping assshole, TRUST ME, the last thing I want to do is steal yours"
I want to say "Eff them!" lol.
For the married ones, I never talk to their husbands online or anything. Just chit chat when I say Hi or bye. But I truly believe that you're right Mint. Now married women might think we're out to steal men. I don't know, I think it's cvntish to assume. I think I am going to unfriend IRL some of them.
I have heard this too.
I think it is to a point too...
On that note, within the past year, STBXH & I split, my brother & his wife split, & XBIL & his wife split....
I also had a member of my family come out with their divorce about 5 months after XH and I.
I agree with the folks who've said that it's kind of like, they see that people can end marriages and live to tell the tale, so they gain confidence from that.
I don't think that perfectly happy couples all of the sudden fall to divorce when those around them do, but people who were in quietly unhappy relationships already may find the encouragement they need to do something about their own situation. And actually, I don't think that's a bad thing.