Trouble in Paradise
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Extended family trainwreck

My cousin Michelle (fake names throughout, obvi) is 27 and married to a guy named Matt, who is 28.  Matt's sister Erica is 24 and has had a rough few years.  She did the "I don't know what I'm doing with my life" thing throughout college, and then rapid fire switched majors and life plans.  She graduated with a degree in Phys Ed and wanted to be a nutritionist.  Since graduation 2 years ago, she's been a lifeguard.  Yes, like a teenager is a lifeguard.

While in college she dated an alcoholic.  Like, this guy went to dinner with cousin and her husband and when the bill came, they realized the three normal people had had a mixed drink each.  He had had 7.  WITH DINNER.  He did this all the time, was violent, etc.

They broke up for some reason and through lifeguarding she met some other winner who has two kids with two different women already.  They moved in together almost immediately.

Two years later and now she's pregnant.  She told her parents yesterday.  They are forcing her to get married on Wednesday.  Like, two days from now.  They're super Catholic and will not have a "bastard" grandchild.  His parents refuse to be present.  No one knows what their deal is.

Compounding this disaster is the fact that Michelle's sister introduced Michelle and Matt, and she knows the whole family very well.  Michelle's sister has been TTC for over 5 years now, including at least 5 IVFs and several IUIs as well.  She lost her most recent pregnancy sometime in the last month.  And now she's got super irresponsible fertile Erica making accidental babies with her irresponsible super fertile almost-husband.

Ugh.  I hate infertility and I hate pregnant marriage and I hate when things are so unfair.

Re: Extended family trainwreck

  • I don't think forcing those two to get married is the greatest idea.
    image
  • I know they aren't acting like it, but those two people are techincally adults. How can their parents force them get married?

  • imagedoglove:

    I know they aren't acting like it, but those two people are techincally adults. How can their parents force them get married?

    I wish I knew.  The same parents forcing this woman to get married also forced their son to attend West Point.  When he'd served his time (including two tours in Iraq) and was ready to get out, they tried to get him to re-enlist.  He almost did, but he finally grew a backbone.  They're super controlling and weird, and very concerned with appearances.  Mom used to have Matt put on his dress blues so she could parade him around...no kidding.

  • imageKatiesCats:
    imagedoglove:

    I know they aren't acting like it, but those two people are techincally adults. How can their parents force them get married?

    I wish I knew.  The same parents forcing this woman to get married also forced their son to attend West Point.  When he'd served his time (including two tours in Iraq) and was ready to get out, they tried to get him to re-enlist.  He almost did, but he finally grew a backbone.  They're super controlling and weird, and very concerned with appearances.  Mom used to have Matt put on his dress blues so she could parade him around...no kidding.

     

    I suppose they haven't thought of how the rest of their friends and family will react when "surprise! guess who's married and expecting!" They also probably don't expect everyone they know to do the math and figure out very quickly it was a shot gun wedding.

    My cousin and his now wife eloped and had a baby a little less than 9 months later... we figured it out, their family will too. What a terrible reason to get married! I feel bad for the little one who will be born to such unprepared and immature parents.

    LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • I can't stand adults who say people made them do something.

    She doesn't have to get married. She needs to grow a backbone like her brother did.

    Her parents are only as controlling as she lets them be.

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