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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Civil suits against Penn State
I heard on the radio that some of the victim's families are bringing civil suits against Penn State for not pursuing further legal action. Do you think that they will be settled out of court? Do you think that they should be able to do this now? Or do you think it's too late, they should've done something when the incident happened?
Re: Civil suits against Penn State
Of course they should be able to do this now! If the statute of limitations has/had run out, that would be a huge shame. So if they can legally, more power to the victims and their families. The pain, shame, burden and confusion these kids now adults have to deal with will never go away completely.
Here's a prior case that will most likely be used as precedent. Long and graphic but it's about the child sex abuse scandal that with the Red Sox clubhouse manager as the perp. A civil case was brought against the Red Sox and they ended up paying > $3mm:
http://www.thepostgame.com/features/201111/another-era-and-another-sport-sex-abuse-scandal-still-inflicting-pain-today
WTF? They're the victims here! Why should they be punished for not coming forward right away? Sexual abuse is extremely complicated and not something that is always acted upon right away or at all! Good for these victims for coming forward regardless of how long ago it happened.
This whole notion that I keep seeing of punishing the victim is really disturbing to me.
ETA: I see from your response that that's not your attitude. Sorry for going on the offense. Where did you see that people were saying "too bad, so sad - should have come forward before"?
The radio host just said that some people felt that way and invited people to call and weigh in. I got to work before I heard what anyone had to say.
By no means do I agree with not allowing them to sue, but it does beg the question why they didn't speak up before now? I always find it a little suspicious when one woman says David Copperfield raped her and then 3 more come out of the wood work saying the same thing. Why didn't they say anything when the incident happened.
Obviously child rape is a totally different thing, but I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that these families didn't come forward sooner. Even when the DA dropped it they could've called the newspapers or something.
I think they deserve recompensation for all that they've gone through, but I wish someone had put a stop to this years ago.
Yes, I wish someone had put a stop to this years ago too. Too bad no official that was told and was in a position to actually punish Sandusky or stop the access/behavior did anything about - from the DA's office to Penn State authorities and coaches to the board of The Second Mile.
I'm not sure what else people are expecting parents to do if the people and agencies that are supposed to take action aren't. Plus I can't even begin to go into the fact that most parents probably didn't know until after the fact, after it's a my word against his, after it's not easily proven, and I'm positive some parents will never know at all.
Dude...
1) Please don't compare AW women who sleep with famous men and then call rape to children who were raped. Don't even suggest a comparison. Why would these grown MEN (whose identities aren't even public!!) make up that a community leader/legend raped them? For the fame?? That is absolutely absurd to even suggest! Maybe you weren't insinuating that, but the comparison to women who accuse celebrities made me draw that conclusion.
2) Again, as I beat to death in the other thread, why are we placing the burden of putting a stop to this monster onto the parents (who probably did everything they could despite the DA and despite the MASSIVE cover up)? The burden falls to the authorities, the university staff, the DA. They are the people who failed here. Not the parents (who, again, were probably low income and maybe working multiple jobs to pay the bills for maybe multiple children) who have little to no power when compared to the giant that is the Penn State athletics department and the entire university. And, I admit maybe this is a little conspiracy theorist, we have no idea the true scope of this cover up. If the parents had gone to the media (and maybe they did for all we know), what would happen to the reporter who broke that story with no evidence other than an unnamed boy? There was no grand jury report then. How far did this cover up go? Did it extend to local media? We have no idea.
3) As Madisen said, this is assuming the parents even know. Say you are a ten year old boy. A man that you look up to, a man that the entire community looks up to and reveres anally rapes you. And maybe add to that that someone saw him in the act of raping you - AND WALKS AWAY. Why would your ten year old self tell anyone about this? That person who walked away doesn't even want to anything. Plus who would believe you if you even spoke out against this man who is a legend in your community?
LB, part of your comments are why I really wish the mom of the victim whose case was dropped by the DA would make some sort of a statement. Not because she did anything wrong for which she needs to defend herself or justify her position, but because she might be the only one willing/able to shed some light on the extent of the coverup. I'm curious what she was told, not in a "why didn't you do more" respect, if that makes sense. I just have this horrible vision of this mom who knows something isn't right... goes through what I assume was a really emotionally-trying process of being wired and helping in what she thought would be a case to bring this man to justice... only to have the whole thing dropped.. And I just envision the DA, or someone at PS, or who knows where, convincing her that she or her son will be ostracized if they don't drop it, or worse that they could be sued for slander etc etc.. the possibilities are as endless as they are depressing.
If I were in her shoes I'm not sure that I would want to get involved again, knowing how it ended the first time, but I hope someone can shed more light on what happened there.
The DA that decided not to press charges back in the late 90's has been missing since 2005.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45244328/ns/local_news-philadelphia_pa/
ETA: Per the article -
And, despite the fact that Ray Gricar had the mother of one of the alleged victims confront Sandusky while police listened, the 1998 report on Sandusky was labeled ?unfounded? by the District Attorney?s Office, reports the Patriot-News.
Not sure how much more light a victim's mother can shed on this.
I agree. I just want to know why what happened happened. Someone somewhere had to have thought "there has to be something more for me to do." I also agree that she might not be saying anything because she just doesn't want to be involved anymore.
Also, I said in my post that obviously child rape is not the same thing.
Great, we all want to know what happened and why it wasn't stopped. It's a good thing the correct people (Sandusky, Curley, Paterno, Schultz, McQueary, Spanier) are being investigated and punished for their lack of action.
Followed by a qualifying "but" statement.
I hadn't heard he was missing.... Just gets shadier and shadier.
Still not sure I'm explaining what I mean too well. I get that the DA tabled it, and I'm not saying that the mom had any control or should/could have done more. I just know that at some point, someone (DA, detectives, who knows?) told this woman there was no case, and I'm really curious how that conversation unfolded. Were there threats? Attempts to shame? Lies about it being taken care of in other ways or about what rights she and her child had? I think it would speak volumes to the tactics involved in the coverup, and might hint at just how far it went. Do I think she has any legal or even ethical obligation to share those details (assuming there are such details to share)? Absolutely not. I am just curious how it all went down.
I get what you're asking. I think you explained it all pretty clearly. I'd like to know more too. There are so many levels of cover up and deception in this case. Like I mentioned in the thread below, I shouldn't make assumptions on what she did or didn't do, but I'd like to know if she ever approached Second Mile. I can't see in the early stages of this, where they were made aware that this was going on. I would hope she'd go to them and file a complaint. Tell them about the conversations that occurred with the authorities. Warn other parents, especially since it had occurred several times before. Do something to tarnish his image and at least attempt to have him removed from a charity that gave him easy access to other victims. Maybe she did do this...there are just so many unknowns.