Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Are you a Video Game Widow, too?
DH and I went to marriage counseling right when I got pregnant for a couple issues, one of which is his addiction to video gaming. I'm really familiar with addiction, been through my own counseling for years and attended Al-Anon meetings for years as well. I'm wondering if there is anyone on this board who can relate to what its like to be married to a gamer? I imagine there are a lot of men (and women) with families who also spend hours gaming online, and I'm curious how its affected their relationships with their families, specifically their children.
Re: Are you a Video Game Widow, too?
My DH is a gamer, and a stay at home dad. He plays when they are napping and after they go to bed, if we're not doing something. It's never been a real problem, and when it gets to be a bit much I mention it and he adjusts his gaming, etc.
I kind of see it as, he doesn't like to watch TV shows, but he'll play games on his computer while I watch TV (in the same room, and we chat throughout), or we'll watch a movie together or play a game or something.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
My DH is a gamer too, but I've known that all along and been okay with it all along. I personally think it would be very hypocritical, not to mention unfair of me to willingly date a gamer, willingly get engaged to a gamer, willingly marry a gamer, willingly get pregnant by a gamer and then be all upset because he likes to play video games. But some women think the wedding ring should change things. YMMV.
I'm assuming he was addicted to these video games (or other things) when you met him and chose to marry him - correct? It's hard to be with someone who is an addict, I would recommend some individual counseling for yourself to determine why you chose to marry a man like this and maybe help you find the support you need.
If this is really an addiction for him, then he needs to get into individual counseling.
Why would you get pregnant though without this issue first being resolved?
DH games. In generally I think he has a good handle on it (games 2-3 nights a week after the kids go to bed, during naps on the weekends).
However I do know that a lot of hard core gamers can't seem to find a normal balance between reasonable hobby and 6 hours a day 6 days a week.
H is a gamer. I am not. He is good at balancing his hobby with time with me, and other aspects of life. H checks in with me before he starts any real time games to make sure I don't need anything from him and if he has other commitments he plays games he can stop at any time.
I'm a gamer, so maybe I can give you a little perspective. The way I see it each partner should have equal amounts of downtime. Since I am a SAHM, I have more responsibilities around the house. I get downtime while DD naps and DH gets equal downtime when he gets home from work. I try to have everything done around the house by DD's bedtime so we can have downtime together. I don't watch much tv or movies, so we usually spend it talking while I game and he watches tv. Sometimes he plays with me and there are a couple shows we watch together.
If we were both working, I would expect us to have equal responsibilities around the home. If I wanted to play for an hour, I would give him an hour to do what he wants.
It can be tempting to play when I don't have anything to do. I try to plan different activities for us to do as a family. I can also lose track of time when I'm playing, so I've started setting a timer. I use it as a way to reward myself too. I set goals for myself and I have to finish those tasks before I can game. It works out pretty nice because then I have everything done before DD goes to bed.