Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
+1 to a wedding
Hi ladies! I'm newly single (about 4 months, after an 8 year relationship), so I'm not sure how to deal with this situation...I have a wedding to go to soon and I RSVP'd for myself and a guest, but things have changed since then and now I don't have a date. I really don't want to go alone, and I don't want to be rude either by messing up their guest count. Do you think it would be okay for me to bring a girlfriend? Should I just ask the bride if she minds?
This whole 'single life' is so baffling and uncomfortable for me and I find myself so unsure about so many situations lately!!! I realize this may not be the best board to post this on, but I've been a lurker for awhile and you ladies seem to have it together!!
Re: +1 to a wedding
For this, I would just be honest and say your date fell though and should you come alone or bring someone??
PS, I'm from the school of "& guest=any guest, not necessarily a sig other" but other peole feel very differently. I didn't really care with my wedding, I just didn't want anyone to have to come alone just because they didn't have a serious relationship.
How close are you to the bride/groom? Will you know anyone else at the wedding? IMO, since you already rsvp'ed for yourself +1, I don't think it would be offensive for you to bring a friend instead of a date, though I don't know if that's against etiquette. It's probably best to just ask.
You already replied +1 but if you know other people there why not just go alone? Save yourself some money on the gift and not make the bride have to pay for dinner for someone else.
I don't see anything wrong with bringing a friend but I guess I don't really see a reason for it unless you know absolutely nobody else there.
You are planning on bringing someone who does not know the couple, just so you have some company at her wedding? No, I don't think so. A plus-one is for your significant other, and if you don't have one, or you break up with him, you come alone. Telling people they can have a plus one is how you end up with strangers in half your wedding pictures, catching the bouquet, and ending up drunk and puking on your dress because they're there for the open bar and nothing else. People who say "you get a plus one" deserve what they get in this regard, but it's incumbent on you to act right even if the bride is foolish enough to offer you this.
Weddings really are special affairs. They're not shows, or productions. Two people are getting married in front of family and friends, and invitations are not transferrable tickets. Some people throw huge weddings where they don't know half the attendees, and this may be one of those kind, but those are few and far between.
The polite way to ask is to call up the bride and say "Sally, I know I RSVPd for two, but my steady and I are broken up. I'm so sorry to mess up your numbers, but it'll just be me". This gives her the opportunity to say to you "Oh, bring someone else, we don't care" or to say to herself "YES. I can now invite so and so who did not fit on our guest list before".
Ditto Sue-sue.
I can't believe people are such babies that they can't go to a social function and talk with the people at their table. I am shy myself, but it is NOT THAT HARD!!! You were invited to bring a date as a courtesy in case you had someone special in your life, not b/c the bride and groom want to spend $100 feeding some girlfriend of yours!
Oh please. So much of that post is dramatic.
Anyone who was 18+ that was invited to my wedding got a "plus one" invitation, regardless of if they were in a relationship or not. My wedding wasn't a huge affair -- our guest list was 130. I had a handful of random people, but I was introduced to them and everyone had a great time.
You could be courteous and give the bride/groom a call and explain your situation. I know I would rather one of my friends bring someone so they felt comfortable, then come alone just to get my guest count down.
I would just ask the bride if it would be okay. Depending on how soon the wedding is, she's probably already submitted a guest count and planned out her tables anyways. Also I'm giving a major side-eye to several posters who are attacking the OP. That's great that you have no problem attending weddings on your own and meeting new people, but for a lot of people, especially newly single people, it can be incredibly overwhelming. The OP isn't demanding that her friend attend with her, just asking for some advice on what's appropriate. Sheesh call down.
Does +1 on a wedding RSVP = the +1 is my SO?
My Mom has been my date to several weddings and I have had just friends go with me to weddings. FWIW, I have also been to several weddings my myself.
IMO, you said +1, does it matter if the plus one is a friend, SO, or your Mom?
Maybe I am just a little more relaxed on the topic.
When I was wedding planning, I didn't care who the +1 was, I just wanted to know who was coming and if they were bringing someone with them so I could make sure there was enough food.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
ALL OF THIS! Seriously, everyone who was at my wedding 18+ got an invitation "plus 1". I was there to celebrate with my guests and that includes making sure they are comfortable. That means enough food, drink, good music and good company. And if having a guest there with them meant they were comfortable, so be it! The more the merrier, in my opinion! One of my bridesmaids brought her sister and I thought that was awesome. OP, I think you are fine to bring a friend if you want. To be within proper etiquette though, I would make sure your gift reflects that 2 of you attended, not just one. And pdx, I am there giving the side eye along with you....
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
For realz. Sue you're a biitch.