Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Just say "No"
SouthSam's Monday random post reminded me of something LandofBiscuit posted about a while ago--the ability to just say "No."
This is something I've struggled with for years. I often find myself in situations that I do not want to be in (or need to be in) because of my inability to say "no". Often, when I do say "no" I feel guilty and need to justify myself with excuses (like SouthSam said).
EX. A "friend" of mine keeps asking me to pick her up from the train or drive her to the train. At first I was telling her no because I was going to bed/waking up early/had plans until I realized that I don't owe her an explanation. I'm not her taxi service and just started saying "No"...but it's still hard for me to do so.
Do you have the ability to say "No"? Any tips on doing so?
Re: Just say "No"
Oh! Another!
My mom asked me to go to her to Connecticut for Christmas this year to see her family. I said no and she kept asking why, "But, WHY not? What are you going to do instead? You don't like my family, do you?"
I finally just told her I don't have a reason, I just do not want to go, I would rather stay in Richmond-- that IS my reason!
I have always had a really hard time saying no, but now, not so much.
I am better. I stand up for myself a lot more and always in the important stuff.
I find myself saying no a lot actually. If I do give in or compromise I talk to the person about it after the fact.
EX: When my BF's friends came it stressed me out that they were early, but I made it work. I talk to BF about it and that in the future it would not go down that way. He was receptive and apologized. We both learned a lesson.
I'm the same way ... I wish I was better at it, but i'm not...
Two thumbs up for this post. I was like this. Always thought people would think I was a biatch for saying no. Just say no and don't justify yourself. I realize a lot of times people would tell me that they didn't need an explaination. That's a clue that you're saying too much. When you justify yourself, people think you don't have a good reason to say no and you don't gain respect.
For example for your friend, just tell her that picking her up isn't working with your schedule. That's it. If you feel too bad, offer alternatives (bus, train).
That's why I love my therapist. I don't only go there to talk about my divorce. He is teaching me to be assertive and confident.