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STBXH Admitted He's Gay
Hey ladies, just needed a quick vent. My STBXH just admitted to me that he thinks he's gay. This isn't exactly a surprise.. he always identified himself as bi and at the end of our relationship I became aware of a lot of correspondence between him and other men. In one way I'm happy for him. He's 35 and I think hiding this has caused a lot of his other emotional issues. So far he has only come out to me and said he's still a little confused, but is planning to talk to his counselor in more detail and more openly than he has in the past, and also plans on telling his family relatively soon once he is "sure."
I just feel like the wind is out of my sails a bit. I don't know why exactly, the marriage was already over and this isn't even really shocking news. I guess I should feel relieved? I mean, obviously there would have been nothing I could have done to make the relationship work, but it really just feels crappy.
Uggghhhh!!!! Vent over...
Re: STBXH Admitted He's Gay
Maybe you're angry b/c you had a relationship with a man who identified as bi, and you still didn't see that as a red flag?
It's quite a load to hear & I think the feeling of defeat/resentment/anger is normal. Have you been to counseling to deal with this yourself?
::steps on soap box::
Being Bi is NOT a red flag that you may be a homosexual and I think this is just a stupid comment!!!!!
::steps off soap box::
Sorry you're dealing with this. Maybe it hurts more to know there isn't anything you could do and maybe like you were living a lie more then most because he was lying to himself. It's perfectly ok to feel how you're feeling though.
You're an azzhole so I'm not even going to argue with you.
I'm sorry OP.
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I am guessing you are a conservative Republican?
There are many bisexual men and women in loving committed relationships.
I'm sorry that this thread has taken a turn for the worse. What you're feeling is normal and it will take time to heal from this even though the marriage was "already over". I suggest counseling. I don't know what you're going through, but I'm here to listen. ((hugs))
I'm wondering what is bothering you? Do you feel deceived? If he was lying to himself, he really was never in a position to be honest with you. Your marriage really didn't have a chance if this was the situation - - it's not as if there is something you could change or work on.