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Which event to attend?
I got an evite for a get together for my DD's preschool class. They encourage the parents to get together. Last year it was just the moms who got coffee while class was going on. This year it's a full on evening event at someone's house, with childcare being provided.
My DH is a firefighter/paramedic and is working the day of the party. I responded yes to the evite for myself and 2 kids only. Then I asked him if he could trade so I don't have to go alone, not really knowing anyone. At that time he tells me that he will try, but it is also the night of his father's retirement party and he'd rather go to that. Ok, totally fine, I get it. He told me my 2 SIL's would probably not be going (4 boys - all the girls married in).
Then yesterday we get an invitation in the mail to the retirement dinner. It's at a restaurant and we are both invited. My FIL has been with his practice for 33 years. I know he would appreciate me being there but wouldn't be bothered if I'm not, due to a previous engagment.
But I feel guilty, as this is a big deal for him.
I'd like to get to know some of the other parents and hopefully become friendly enough for playdates, etc. But I'm also a little hesitant going on my own - the 2 moms I know from last year will not be going.
Would you change your response to the preschool party? Or since that was responded to first, stay with that?
TIA for your opinions!
Re: Which event to attend?
Is the retirement dinner a work-related event, or a family party?
Normally the first event would trump, but in this case I think you should go to the retirement party.
It's a real milestone in a person's life and I know when my uncle recently retired, all his kids flew in from thousands of miles away to attend a big party thrown by his workplace.
You can meet the preschool moms another time.
If it were me, I'd rather go to the retirement party.
If you want to get to know the other mothers at the school, organize another event in a month or two, and make sure the women you already know can attend so that you have a "buffer" there.
Both. I believe the other docs from his practice will be there, as well as office staff, and his family was invited.
The retirement is a bigger deal but you'll most likely just be left to chat with DH, agree with well-wishers and eat your meal. Not a bad deal but if the other SIL's can skip it, its probably not huge that you do, too.
Seriously?
You child's grandfather's retirement (read once -in-a-lifetime) party or a school playdate?
Do you work outside the home? If not, I'm wondering why you just don't talk to the other parents at pickup / drop off? I taught in a preschool for several years, and that was when the parents socialized.
I also can't believe this will be the ONLY event where the pre-school parents get together. Can you help out in class for a class party? Read to the kids? Chair a fundraising event? All of those things will help you to meet other parents.
I would go to FILs party. It seems that the preschool party is pretty casual (even though it was planned), and you can change your evite response to no.
Inviting kids over for playdates shouldn't be that hard! It doesn't matter who YOU are friends with, it matters who your dd / ds wants to play with.
Does the school have a directory? If so, call up the mom and ask if her child can come over. Offer to allow her to stay for the first 10-15 minutes or so for her child to be comfortable in your home (or for her to be comfortable with you). Or, you can ask if her child and your child want to meet up at a local park and play.
I can understand a parent not wanting to have their child go on a playdate to a house /family they don't know, but if you offer to let them stay for part of the visit with a cup of coffee it should be ok.
I was working while DD was in preschool, so we met mostly at evening events (car shows, Pizza for dinner, the pool in the summer). I only met the parents at pickup or dropoff, or at the holiday parties / graduations.
So my advice - go to FILs retirement party.
The kids are not invited to the retirement party. It's an evening, adult only affair.
And just to clarify for others (not that it really matters) but its not a play date. I would never skip the retirement for a play date. The school thing is also an evening event, hence the conflict. It's for the parents, but the hosts are providing sitters. It's more formal than maybe some are assuming.
Thanks to everyone for the input! My 2 SIL's will not be going. My DH still doesn't know if he can get the day off. If he can, I'll be attending the retirement party with him.
I wish it were that easy! We don't get out of the cars for that - it's pull up. I haven't been bold enough to go knock on someone's window yet LOL
We did just get an invite for one of the kids' bday parties today, so that will be a good meeting place too.