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Bridezilla drama-sorry it's long...
I would appreciate your 3rd party perspective on some wedding drama that I'm currently involved in. I'm a bridesmaid for a really good friend from college. Someone that is usually pretty easy going and we've had a lot of fun together. I consider her one of my best friends. This weekend the MOH and I hosted her bachelorette party in Bellingham. After lots of hard work and planning, she walked into the room we just finished decorating and instead of a thank you she said 'Oh I have to wear a pink veil. It's going to clash with my outfit'. Although we were disappointed in her reaction, we went on to have a fun evening with everyone that drove all the way up to Bham. At no point in the evening did she thank everyone for coming. We get back to the hotel room and she starts sobbing. I went in to find out why and she basically went off on me and the MOH for not making her feel special and that she was disappointed in everything. I had given her the veil that I wore to my b party because I still had it and thought it would be special if she wore it too. She accused me of giving her hand me downs. I made her a banner by hand and decorated cupcakes but she didn't acknowledge any of that.
I am really hurt that she is so unappreciative of the effort that went into planning her a nice party. All of the ladies who attended said they had a great time and were really shocked/appalled by her reaction. The MOH is so pissed she doesn't want to be in the wedding or be friends anymore. But the Bride also told her she didn't like the theme of her bridal shower and was mad that her mom ended up having to do so much. I helped with the shower as well and hand no clue the mom was feeling overextended. They've basically butted heads for the whole planning process.
We left without saying anything on Sunday and MOH and I both got the same copy/pasted email from the Bride saying she understands we're upset. Again, no apology. I finally broke down today and called her at work because I couldn't stand thinking about it anymore. She said she resented the fact that we acted like we didn't want to go to Bellingham and we didn't make her feel special. But then apologized profusely and said she doesn't want to lose our friendship. I feel like she's acted like one of those girls from My Super Sweet 16 crying when she doesn't get her way. She seems really sorry for how she acted but still admits what we did wasn't good enough.
Why should I want to make the effort to be in the wedding at this point? Would you? If MOH jumps ship, should I support her? All the fun has been sucked out of it!
Re: Bridezilla drama-sorry it's long...
I need a little more info.
Does the bride act like this a lot or was this a one/first time thing?
Did the bride vocalize any input or requests prior to the bparty or shower? If so, were any of these requests unreasonable? Did they get taken in to account during the parties?
What is your relationship to the MOH?
That situation sucks. Do you know if the Bride is having problems with her family, Future ILs, or relationship issues with her FI? Something might be stressing her out, and maybe that set her off?
I don't know if I would jump ship, even if the MOH does. It would definitely be a friendship killer.
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FWIW, i had a craptastic b-party, but my MOH would never know i didn't have fun because i faked it. i appreciated her effort, and that's all i could ask for...(the bridesmaids called me and apologized about how bad it was, it was *that* bad). it's just bad taste to poo-poo someones efforts for a party thrown to celebrate you. sounds like she should've planned her own party......
either way, i wouldn't drop out of the wedding, but i would limit my future planning-efforts. i'd do the minimum requirements for BM's...show up, look pretty.
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In the past she's always seemed easy going. We've gone on vacation together and she just shows up for the ride. I thought she was going to be a super easy bride. The only time she's acted like this was after the bridal shower.
We had the opportunity to stay in a free hotel room in Seattle. We asked her about it and she said she wanted to go to Bellingham. We tried to get her to see why it would be easier for everyone involved to do it in Seattle and apparently we shouldn't have because it hurt her feelings. I just bought a house so the idea of a free hotel room was sounding good to me. In the end, we did what she wanted and went to Bellingham. I realized it was important to her and was excited to go. When we arrived I said how happy I was that we ended up there. We went to the restaurant, bar and club that she told us she wanted to go to. She did not vocalize any requests for the shower which is why the MOH was peeved that she would act disappointed. In the end we did exactly what she wanted for the Bachelorette party because of what happened with the shower.
I consider the MOH a best friend.
It sounds like there's something else going on with the bride and you guys were the unfortunate ones that she took it out on. Can you try and talk to her about that?
If you decide to jump ship, which if you do then you'll have to accept that the friendship is pretty much done, decide to do it on your own accord and not because of the MOH.
I'd probably want to drop out of the wedding if I were you, but I'd probably stay in it and do the minimal work left.
It's a hard decision because I'm closer to the MOH than the Bride. I feel like I would be offending MOH if I didn't have her back.
All the girls went to breakfast the next morning and said the same thing-that there must be something else going on with the bride. Her sisters haven't been involved at all. None of the groom's family is flying in. Maybe I should ask her about it.
PS-I'm the one who ended up with a pitcher of water on my head at 88 keys for my B party. Some people don't understand that things could always be worse!
Do you need to drop out of the wedding to have the MOH's back?
I guess that will have to be a conversation to have with her. I don't want her to feel like I think it's okay how the bride has treated us but I'm not ready to back out of the wedding because of it.
I would tell the MOH this. The dropping out of the wedding beef seems more like it's between the MOH and the bride, rather than you and the bride.
Thanks for your perspective girls. I appreciate the help. At this point, I hope the MOH and bride can work things out because they've been friends since high school. I'm terrified to think of what the bride will do if something goes wrong on wedding day considering how she's handled everything else!
I like b'ham, but it's an odd b-party destination.
Not weird for a bachelorette party.I also agree with whoever said that you can be maintain your role in the wedding and also stand behind MOH's decision not to (thought it sounds like a good idea to at least talk to MOH about your decision and opinions on the matter, as it sounds like you are worried about their friendship, and you're already involved).
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
I wore a hot pink veil for my b party... I wanted pink because I thought it would be "sluttier" and more bachelorette-like.
Photo courtesy of jennygg.com
My never updated Planning/Married Bio: http://mgoss228.weebly.com/
Seattle Knotties: Please page me if you send me a PM!
Um. She should be happy that she had people to plan a party for her in the first place. My MOH asked my opinion on everything, I had to pay for my own dinner, and my MOH left early to go home. My b-party was ridiculous, but I tried to make the best of it and have as much fun as I could.
That being said - I don't know. I'd probably do the wedding, but at the end of it be done with the friendship. She seems like a really selfish person to me.
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this and yeah, I'd probably say "it's over and I'm out". Guys, she continued to say she was disappointed while she was trying to 'apologize' for her attitude...! And honestly, if something IS going wrong in her relationship, maybe having a wedding isn't the best choice either, right? Maybe I'd start the conversation asking how things are going with her family, FI, ILs etc, but in the end, if she still tries to justify herself, she's not worth having as a friend. My b-party wasn't amazing but I would NEVER had said anything because I know they put the effort in and it was still nice to be together. There is never a good excuse for acting like a brat.
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