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Can I Vent?

I usually lurk but I have to vent for a minute. 

My H was unemployed for a while, enlisted in the Reserves, and was away at training for 5 months this year. Now he is back, looking for a job and everything is great. We can survive on my paycheck, but of course things would be much better if he found a job.  

Anyway, certain family members have taken it upon themselves to "help" H with his job search. Believe me, I know the power of networking and any genuine advice is much appreciated, but whenever these certain people make a suggestion, it just seems like they are being condescending. 

It's getting to the point where I don't even know how to respond. Usually, I just say thanks and ignore them, but its really getting old now. 

We never talk about H's job search in front of these people, never complain about money, etc., and yet they still find the need to give us their input all the time.  

I hope I don't sound like an unappreciative brat, like I said any truly helpful tips are great, its just these few people who annoy me. 

Re: Can I Vent?

  • I'm right there with you. We just PCSed and my brother was going into a diatribe about how to make business contacts and find a mentor to get a job. I dont work in the business field, I work in mental health, so his suggestions were pretty much not helpful.

    I hate people giving unsolicited advice in general, but especially with that.

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  • You should give these people unsolicited advice on their hair color or car repair. Stick out tongue

    In all seriousness though when it comes up just respond with "H is doing everything he can to find a position."  Leave it at that and quickly change the topic.  If they continue or dig deeper about what he's actually doing tell them it's none of their business.

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  • We had this problem when E separated from the Marine Corps. His mom never thought he was doing enough and kept bringing home all these job listings for things E was either not qualified for or jobs that sounded like what he used to do but were in like Nebraska. It was crazy. E and I just got to the point where we would tell her, " Mom/Mom IL, we really do have this under control and as much as we appericate your help we really would like to deal with this ourselves." She pretty much stopped after that and E got his current job all on his own without her help at all.

    Good luck to your H. 

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  • I would recommend the bean dip strategy.

    "Hey, I was thinking that in order to find a job, your H should call my friend who does resumes for a living, she's really amazing!"

    "Thanks.  Wow, this is really good bean dip!  I hope I can get Sheila to give me the recipe."

    After a few times, hopefully they'll ge the hint.

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