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AmericanInOz
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
why can't they just be happy for us? it just goes on & on....
my family keeps sending me emails saying 'we're happy for you that you bought a house BUT...
we're sad as it's so permanent
now we know you'll never come back to the states
etc etc
I am SO SO sick of hearing it, all it does is make me feel bad
and I'm sick of saying - look this is NOT that different from our situation now - we OWN our flat, we're just sick and tired of tripping over each other in this small space. If we move or get transferred somewhere we will just rent the house out, or sell it!!! It's not a life sentance!!! I understand it's just their way of saying they miss me but...
*sigh* any suggestions on what else to say? I think I may just drop it now, but everytime it's mailed to me it does get me down a little 
Re: why can't they just be happy for us? it just goes on & on....
Lame! I hate the royal but.
A suggested reply:
'I'm happy you emailed me, but I wish you'd written me a letter because email is so temporary. xo forevs'
I jest--but really now. This would annoy me too.
The Royal But
lol - that's awesome - thanks I needed that
Thanks so much for that, the thoughts from all of you really helped me come to peace with it a bit more, and I decided that on the days she is here I will get stuck into cooking for those extra hours so that on those nights when I just don't feel like cooking I can pull something out of the freezer that is already made.
It helps that this week in the middle of play he came running to look for me to give me a big hug and kiss, melted my already mushy heart!
I think that's a great idea!!!
Yea as much as I have major guilt about sending G to daycare, I know at the end of the day she is really enjoying it and likes the carers and her little friends. It's good them to have a bit of exposure to people other than just us I suppose. But having them come up to you for a cuddle after time apart really is the BEST!!
Families are hard to deal with sometimes!
I would just tell them when they say things like that it makes you feel bad. If you can't say it to grandma, can you maybe have your parents speak to her or something?
I completely understand. We own our flat but somehow now that we're looking to buy a house, it's suddenly that much more permanent in their eyes. And I guess deep down it is for me too. Even though I know that if we decided to move elsewhere, we could, but the truth is, we are happy and settled here, both have great jobs, etc. To move to the US would take better things/situations lining up for us over there and that would be awesome but not likely right now.
In the meantime we have to move forward with our life and we want to expand into a bigger place. I know they are happy we are so happy but it's hard for them. I get that. It makes me feel bad though because there is a small part of me that wishes I could be closer to them. Every time they email, I'm reminded of that, I guess. I just tell them that nothing is permanent but I have to do what is best for us and that's being here. I also usually say, "I know you miss me and I miss you guys, you know that, but nothing has to be permanent and the more you think it is, the harder it is for me over here."
How to Play House blog
I understand COMPLETELY what you're going through...my mom does it to me all the time. Only, for my mom, it isn't meant in a "omg, we miss you so much" and all that, it's more from a place of "omg, how can I manipulate the situation to be all about ME and how this is a travesty in MY life" and so on, so forth.
Honestly, I had to have a "come to Jesus" with my mom about it when I was home. I told her that I'm sorry she felt that way, but that we'd be home eventually (not sure when) and the only thing that she was doing was making it really hard for me to even want to talk to her. Then, the next day she started in again, and I just flat out told her, "Mom, I'm tired of your bullsh!t."
Strangely, I haven't heard anything out of her.
Good luck!!!!
Just like how you and mrshooi are happy your kids can thrive at daycare/with a nanny because it is a reflection of how confident and well-adjusted they are - your family should feel the same about you setting up home in another country.
It sounds like you already have tried to explain the situation to them (i.e. owning a house is not a life sentence in this day and age) but it's not sinking in. With my grandparents I told them about how buying a house was a good financial decision where we live and they seemed to grab on positively to that angle, that may be worth a try.. otherwise I'd be in the ignore it camp.
For us we used the angle of "Now we have a bedroom for you when you come to visit and all this extra room for the kids will be wonderful!"
We haven't been back to Ireland in almost two years now so there's been a lot of guilt going on with that but most of it seems deserved. We bought a house and we just can't afford the tickets because we spend so much more on mortgage than rent and all the other expenses that come with a house. It sucks... MIL is trying to get DH to agree to bring the kids over in February for 3-4 days for FIL's 60th birthday party. We were planning a 10 day trip in June/July for BIL's graduation (from graduate school) already so DH isn't keen on it but MIL keeps pushing how much FIL would love to be have them there. It's really killing him. It wouldn't be fair to the kids to do a 3 day trip to Ireland, but its not fair to FIL to keep them home... blah. Sorry to go off on my own rant! I hope your family lightens up on you soon. It sucks to get that extra guilt. I often wonder if they really don't know that we pile enough on ourselves without their help...
anyhow, thanks for the support ladies - as always - it's great to be able to talk with people who understand
ahhhh yes the guilt filled we are happy for you ....But .
It frustrates the crap out of me. I am very lucky in that my family who live over in France are just so excited and so supportive that my husband and I have just bought our very first home in SC - they are already planning visiting and checking out flights.
Sadly my husbands family havent even told us they think the house is beautiful or congrats or even that they cant wait to come and visit ant yet they live in friggin Texas - the same flipping country.
I completely understand your frustration and sometimes the best thing to do is just ignore it.
I hope they stop sending you the emails