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Need your input on living situation with stbxh
I may need a swift kick in the butt but would like your input on my living situation with stbxh.
STBXH was going to move out by Nov 1st but still here because where he is moving to is a college beach town and rentals are scarce until the summer. He was going to move into an apt. hotel for the meantime.
While he was searching, I was realizing that I am not going to be able to afford the current rental I am at. If I am honest, I will be stretched too thin. I currently live in a 2 bedroom duplex and rent is 1800. I don't want a roommate and desire for my son and me to each have our own room. So I decided I am going to look for a smaller and cheaper rental.
STBXH can?t keep our current rental even though he loves it because he also can?t afford it knowing he will be paying child support.
I couldn?t wait for him to move out but now he presented me a choice of having him move out this week or he stays until I move out that way he can help with my moving process and take care of wrapping up the current place.
I have to admit that having him stay longer to deal with the rental sounds tempting because moving was extremely hard 3 months ago after we sold our home.
Should I take advantage of his help or should I have him move out to clarify that I am able to do things without him helping me? I have an active 14 months old so it is extremely hard to get anything done with him.
I am looking to move Jan 1st as it would just be too much for me to try to move by Dec 1st at this point.
Re: Need your input on living situation with stbxh
If you think you can deal with it emotionally, then it might be best for him to stay given the financial situation. I don't know what your dynamic is but you might want to draw up some sort of agreement with respect to who does what in the house while you're roommates. (ex. chores, taking care of your DS, if either one of you is dating whether you can bring people home, coordinate social schedules, etc.)
Will he be sleeping in a different room? Personally I wouldn't be able to handle it, but it sounds like you have your act together and that things are more or less amicable and this could work--especially if you have an end date.
STBXH and I have been sleeping in separate bedrooms since July 4th and I currently share my room with DS. Our breakup is weird, its mainly because stbxh can't really emotionally connect with people like normal and needs to be set apart. He originally wanted us to stay as roommate but be divorces (this would not work for me in the long run) Either of us are not dating anyone else and most of the time, stbxh hides in his room or I am often out of the house attending social events. I want to get out soon because ds is getting old enough to watch what is going on in home.
I also just realize from reading the post below about credit, we do have some bills and accounts where we need to separate our names. That post scared me enough to want to try to amicably do that with stbxh amicably before we split so it does not get harder than it should be. That might be the winning reason for me to ask him to stay longer.